CONCLUDING PARAGRAPHS

1/5/2021

Will everyone complete the PAR?

Today, students started the day off with a writing lesson on concluding paragraphs. Students learned they need to restate their thesis statements, restate their points from their body paragraphs, and leave the reader with a powerful closing statement. They also learned 4 different ways to write a clincher: make a predictions, suggest results/consequences, call for action, or a quote.

IMPORTANT:

Report Cards will be distributed at the end of the month
High School Registration forms will hopefully be distributed by the end of the week!

LEARNING:
1.) MATH: Complete pg 136-137 (mark and correct at home)

2.) LA/WRITING: All 5 paragraphs should be completed for tomorrow. HOMEWORK ALERT FORMS WILL BE SENT HOME IF THIS IS NOT COMPLETED FOR TOMORROW!

3.) POST A RESPONSE:

This will be a test. A test to see if all students are checking, reading, and completing the daily PAR!
Click here for the slideshow on Concluding paragraphs if you need to review the structure.
If all students respond and complete all 6 criteria points below, you will be given a PAR holiday for Wed, Thurs, and Fri. "GO GET IT!"
LEARNING INTENTION: I can complete my daily PAR according to learning intentions and associated success criteria.
SUCCESS CRITERIA:
1.) Copy and paste your concluding paragraph from your 5 paragraph essay here.
2.) Check this slideshow to make sure you have followed the proper structure.
3.) Below your concluding paragraph, state the type of conclusion you used (refer to slideshow)
4.) Read 2 other concluding paragraphs from your peers. Give two students suggestions on how to improve their conclusions based on the concluding paragraph structure and the above criteria.
5.) Respond to at least 2 suggestions for improvement from your peers and redit/revise your concluding paragraphs. POST your revised version as a reply to your original concluding paragraph.
6.) Givens: spelling, capitals, punctuation, grammar, and sentence structure.

VIDEO LINKS:
Cello Cover 2021 Covers

lars

1/5/2021 04:02:40 pm

first

Nathan

1/5/2021 04:03:05 pm

second

Roy

1/5/2021 04:03:28 pm

bruh 5 seconds

Roy

1/5/2021 04:03:10 pm

Second

Isa

1/5/2021 04:03:14 pm

Second

lars

1/5/2021 04:03:35 pm

lol so many seconds

Isa

1/5/2021 04:03:42 pm

No, fourth

Mason

1/5/2021 04:05:09 pm

What is the essay about?

Dylan

1/5/2021 04:06:35 pm

It can be about any topic u want

Dylan

1/5/2021 04:06:12 pm

To sum up, this year has been very different from the rest, lots of things have happened, such as, the COVID pandemic, the BLM movement, and the American elections. These events are greatly impacting us, and will greatly affect our future. Wearing masks, sanitizing, protests, thing like this could become the new normal if this trend continues. Hopefully, it doesn't.

I used the prediction one.

Tyson

1/5/2021 04:22:14 pm

I am not sure but try to use Black lives matters instead of BLM in an essay. Also put an s for "things" in some part at the end.

Dylan

1/5/2021 04:27:27 pm

To sum up, this year has been very different from the rest, lots of things have happened, such as, the COVID pandemic, the Black lives matter movement, and the American elections. These events are greatly impacting us, and will greatly affect our future. Wearing masks, sanitizing, protests, things like this could become the new normal if this trend continues. Hopefully, it doesn't.

Trevor

1/5/2021 06:43:14 pm

I think that if you only use it once, it should be Black Lives Matter, but if used several time, only do the first as Black Lives Matter and the rest BLM.

Nathan

1/5/2021 04:44:32 pm

Can you try to make a better ending sentence?

Roen

1/5/2021 06:29:51 pm

Maybe be more specific in how the prediction one is used? And what it means.

Magnus

1/5/2021 07:53:24 pm

One thing that you could do is to add less commas

Isa

1/5/2021 04:07:00 pm

@Mr. Hong, only the conclusion?

Tyson

1/5/2021 04:12:55 pm

yes

Tyson

1/5/2021 04:07:02 pm

Slide 7 Suggest a solution, make a recommendation, or call for action

To sum up, Vegas is built more constructively and is easier to use. This includes velocity, plugins, etc. The cons of Vegas are that Vegas comes at $799.99 while After affects comes at $19.99 monthly, both awfully expensive. After calculating, you can use Adobe After effects for 3 years and 4 months before reaching $799.99, but I was always told things were expensive for a reason. At a 9.2 smart score, a 98% user satisfaction and a permanent software, Vegas is 100% the way to go.

Nathan

1/5/2021 04:34:33 pm

"Below your concluding paragraph" the criteria stated. "After affects" After Effects.

Samantha

1/5/2021 04:44:00 pm

A suggestion! You could leave out the con and put it in your body because your concluding sentence should wrap everything up. You should also add in your thesis into your concluding sentence unless you did, I might of missed your thesis statement.

Seth

1/5/2021 05:54:19 pm

Dear Tyson.

Your conclusion is ok. But you could state your opinion more clearly.
I have talked to some of my peers and they agree if you don’t.

Tyson

1/5/2021 07:17:47 pm

LOL Dear Tyson lololol

lars

1/5/2021 07:22:06 pm

seth is good at this

Tyson

1/5/2021 07:28:07 pm

Vegas is 100% the way to go. BOOM thats the answer to all your problems

Roen

1/5/2021 06:29:05 pm

Use premier! Hollywood movie makers make movies with this! It has to be better then some youtube video editing software, right? Right??? And its free!

Tyson 2.0

1/5/2021 07:30:56 pm

To sum up, Vegas is built more constructively and is easier to use. It has better tools and can be easily introduced to beginners, intermediates and even professionals. This includes velocity, plugins, etc. Vegas comes at $799.99 while After Effects comes at $19.99 monthly, both are awfully expensive. After calculating, you can use Adobe After Effects for 3 years and 4 months before reaching $799.99, but I was always told things were expensive for a reason. At a 9.2 smart score, a 98% user satisfaction and a permanent software, Vegas is 100% the way to go.

Dear Tyson

1/6/2021 07:43:21 am

Good job you have completed this simple task

Jeffrey (Div 2)

1/6/2021 09:49:29 am

Tyson. Although we understand what you are trying to say, I think that After affects and After effects are two separate things. Something to keep in mind is that you should double check your work.

Isa

1/5/2021 04:10:27 pm

Conclusion:
My Hawaii vacation was perfect. I wish this vacation never ended. But, the vacation was very enjoyable and relaxing. However, all good things must come to an end. What's your favourite holiday destination?

Tyson

1/5/2021 04:16:32 pm

Since it is an essay, try not to have an but after a period

Dear Tyson

1/5/2021 05:39:59 pm

It’s a but
Not an

Dear Seth

1/6/2021 10:07:38 am

Typo

Dylan

1/5/2021 04:17:23 pm

You need to state what kind of conclusion you made, and also you need to restart the thesis. Follow the criteria!

Taiki

1/5/2021 05:09:47 pm

You have to follow the criteria.

Keira

1/5/2021 05:19:52 pm

@Isa - Similar as to Taiki's mistake, you need to add a concluding transition word such as: To summarize, In summary, In conclusion, To sum up, After all or Finally, etc.

Jacqueline

1/5/2021 05:23:51 pm

Your first two sentences were quite short, try to put commas and add more transition words to it.

Mika

1/5/2021 07:01:01 pm

maybe you could use past tense for the second sentence because you are talking about a vacation that has already ended like 'I wish that vacation never ended'

Nathan

1/5/2021 04:10:52 pm

Overall, I think that science is an expanding subject grasping into many other subjects. The inspiration and honor that you can get is also a huge part that can motivate you. Making a better future in healthcare or transportation will also help the future of humanity to thrive. "No great discoveries were ever made without a bold guess."
-Isaac Newton.
(This quote means that if you make a bold guess, like imagining something thought impossible, a great discovery can be made.)
I used make a recommendation as my concluding sentence

Tyson

1/5/2021 04:14:49 pm

Make it paragraph format for the Issac Newton and after part

Nathan

1/5/2021 04:23:06 pm

It was just an informative saying if people didn't understand what the quote meant.

Dylan

1/5/2021 04:19:22 pm

You spelt honour the American way, it should be the Canadian way.

Nathan

1/5/2021 04:23:37 pm

Ok thanks. I just don't know which one is which.

Nathan

1/5/2021 04:27:15 pm

Overall, I think that science is an expanding subject grasping into many other subjects. The inspiration and honour that you can get is also a huge part that can motivate you. Making a better future in healthcare or transportation will also help the future of humanity to thrive. "No great discoveries were ever made without a bold guess."
-Isaac Newton.
(This quote means that if you make a bold guess, like imagining something thought impossible, a great discovery can be made.)
I used make a recommendation as my concluding sentence

Trevor

1/5/2021 06:57:11 pm

Nathan. The Canadian version of these words has a "u". American does not. *e.g. (in Canadian) Honour, Labour.

Jeffrey (Div 2)

1/6/2021 10:03:26 am

When writing a formal essay, it is best to stay off of the word "you". Third person would be a much better substitute for second person. In you case, the word "one" would fit in.

Roen

1/5/2021 06:31:33 pm

maybe add something that would get the reader hooked into more like: "but science can also lead to mass death" or something like that

Melissa

1/6/2021 08:27:14 am

honour is spelt with a u

lars

1/5/2021 04:15:32 pm

Overall, 2020 has been a very eventful year for people all around the world. 2021 is looking up so far in pandemic terms, with vaccines for COVID-19 already rolling out. However, though the Black Lives Matter protests have died down, protests for farmers in India have begun, and has been named the biggest peaceful protest of all time. Hopefully, they will remain peaceful, and 2021 will be, apart from that, protest-free. As for natural problems, we have no idea what will happen, but let's hope that people will be better about climate change and the environment. Greta Thunberg will probably keep leading peaceful marches, and hopefully companies will continue finding ways to be more nature-friendly. All in all, there is a general feel that 2021 will be a much more calm, peaceful year than 2020.

I used a prediction conclusion

Nathan

1/5/2021 04:30:23 pm

"protests for farmers in India have begun, and has been named the biggest peaceful protest of all time." I don't think you need a comma there. "people will be better about climate change" In my opinion, will react better is a better wording. "more calm, peaceful" use calm and peaceful instead.

lars

1/5/2021 05:22:06 pm

for the climate change thing its not about their reaction its about actually doing something about it like idk using electric cars

lars

1/5/2021 05:23:24 pm

otherwise thanks

lars redo

1/5/2021 05:25:22 pm

Overall, 2020 has been a very eventful year for people all around the world. 2021 is looking up so far in pandemic terms, with vaccines for COVID-19 already rolling out. However, though the Black Lives Matter protests have died down, a worldwide protest for farmers in India have begun and has been named the biggest peaceful protest of all time. Hopefully, they will remain peaceful, and 2021 will be, apart from that, protest-free. As for natural problems, we have no idea what will happen, but let's hope that people will be better about climate change and the environment. Greta Thunberg will probably keep leading peaceful marches, and hopefully companies will continue finding ways to be more nature-friendly. All in all, there is a general feel that 2021 will be a much more calm and peaceful year than 2020.

Nathan

1/5/2021 04:26:02 pm

@Mr Hong - On number 5 in the criteria, the first sentence has a spelling mistake of "redit/revise" when instead it should be "edit/revise"

Samantha

1/5/2021 04:49:14 pm

In conclusion, BLM is a good protest for black lives. Black lives should be treated equally as everyone else and they shouldn't be treated differently because of how they appear This explains what BLM is, why is it happening, and if we should support it. The BLM protest has made it very far in 2020. Now that it is 2021, we shouldn't give up hope and eventually, that people will start opening up to black people!

Taiki

1/5/2021 05:04:31 pm

You have to state what kind of conclusion you used.

Jacqueline

1/5/2021 05:19:59 pm

You said “because of how they appear This explains what BLM is” but there’s no period between the two words tho

Samantha (revised)

1/5/2021 06:45:33 pm

Type of conclusion used: Suggest results or consequences.

In conclusion, BLM is a good protest for black lives. Black lives should be treated equally as everyone else and they shouldn't be treated differently because of how they appear This explains what BLM is, why is it happening, and if we should support it. The BLM protest has made it very far in 2020. Now that it is 2021, we shouldn't give up hope and eventually, that people will start opening up to black people!

Tyson

1/5/2021 07:52:54 pm

Change "BLM" to "Black Lives Matter" to make it more formal. Add a period between "How they appear" and This explains" Turn your second sentence into this, "Black lives should be treated equally as everyone else and should not be treated differently just because of there appearance". I do not really get this part, "This explains what BLM is, why is it happening, and if we should support it". Change the last sentence to this, "The Black Lives Matter protest has made it so far in 2020 and now that it has made it's way through 2021, we should never give up hope and hopefully people will start welcoming Black people as their own kind". After that your concluding sentence should be improved.

Thank me later

Tyson

1/5/2021 07:53:36 pm

I did not see your 2.0 btw

Samantha

1/5/2021 08:43:00 pm

@Tyson the "This explains..." part is part of my thesis statement so I can't change it. Thanks for the feedback though!

Samantha

1/5/2021 08:48:54 pm

@Tyson oh sorry I misread your feedback.

Taiki

1/5/2021 05:01:33 pm

To be prepared for COVID-19, people need to take enough precautions, wear better masks and know about the evolved coronavirus to be safe. Although infected people only increase, precautions are essential to avoid the virus and die. Scientists don't exactly know when the pandemic will end, but it should end by the end of 2021.

Type of paragraph: Make a Prediction

Keira

1/5/2021 05:17:06 pm

@Taiki - You should add a conclusion word at the beginning of your paragraph. For example: To summarize, In summary, In conclusion, To sum up, After all or Finally, etc.

lars

1/5/2021 05:28:35 pm

when you say 'avoid the virus and die' it should be 'avoid getting the virus and dying' for grammar

Magnus

1/5/2021 07:55:55 pm

you could add a comma before the and in the first sentence

Taiki Revised

1/5/2021 09:17:57 pm

To summarize, people need to take enough precautions to be prepared for COVID-19, wear better masks, and know about the evolved coronavirus to be safe. Although infected people only increase, precautions are essential to avoid getting the virus and dying. Scientists don't exactly know when the pandemic will end, but it should end by the end of 2021.

Type of paragraph: Make a Prediction

Keira

1/5/2021 05:13:11 pm

To summarize, microplastic is harmful because of its horrible after effects on the environment and on the animals, which leads to the food triangle and the natural habitats, then, finally, ending with us. Moreover, some estimate that our planet will only last a few more decades, which also includes the extinction of the entire human race. Certainly, microplastic is not the only problem which continues to mourn and suffocate us, but global warming, climate change and many different encounters which we will all soon have to face. But as many pros that microplastic may have, the cons shadow us and we forget that we have a home to save. As the planet Earth welcomed us, it is our job to keep priority and keep the planet a safe place to live in. So together we must work as many lives and newer generations depend on this movement.

Keira

1/5/2021 05:15:19 pm

I used 'Suggest a solution, make a recommendation, or call for action'.

lars

1/5/2021 05:27:17 pm

after-effects should have a hyphen in the middle, or take out the space and hyphen completely. also what is the food triangle? did you mean food chain

Keira

1/5/2021 05:29:05 pm

@Lars - Yeah I keep forgetting the food chain's name, but I was debating earlier whether I needed a hyphen or not so thanks.

Keira Revised

1/5/2021 05:29:53 pm

To summarize, microplastic is harmful because of its horrible after-effects on the environment and on the animals, which leads to the food chain and the natural habitats, then, finally, ending with us. Moreover, some estimate that our planet will only last a few more decades, which also includes the extinction of the entire human race. Certainly, microplastic is not the only problem which continues to mourn and suffocate us, but global warming, climate change and many different encounters which we will all soon have to face. But as many pros that microplastic may have, the cons shadow us and we forget that we have a home to save. As the planet Earth welcomed us, it is our job to keep priority and keep the planet a safe place to live in. So together we must work as many lives and newer generations depend on this movement.

Jacqueline

1/5/2021 05:17:23 pm

In conclusion, with the combination of your imagination, creativity, skill, and mindset, you can create your own art piece and be proud of it. You will soon be comparing your first attempt with your most recent one and look at the difference and growth you have made. Making mistakes is key to success and will help you improve your strategies. If you continue to put in your full effort, keeping a strong mindset, practicing often, and never give up, you will see great improvements and maybe even become an inspiration to many other people one day. Let’s hope that it’ll come true.

I used to one which includes making a prediction for the concluding sentence

Mika

1/5/2021 06:54:00 pm

dang I wanted to give you a suggestion so I gave two but I can't💧👄💧

Jacqueline

1/5/2021 07:49:43 pm

Same💧👄💧

Sebastian

1/5/2021 05:35:38 pm

In conclusion of this assessment, Pc's have more content than consoles and faster fps and basically everything. It depends whether or not in the future if consoles will be better than pc's, but that's highly unlikely. Consoles have good games and good shading if its emulated to pc's. Consoles have the best games but better if playing with friends ( if you have friends who have the game or even have friends). Consoles have great stuff but Nintendo is highly recommended if you have kids around or have kids.

Seth

1/5/2021 05:59:43 pm

Pls state your conclusion strategy

Ryo

1/5/2021 05:59:59 pm

You need to state what type o conclusion you used.

Ryo

1/5/2021 06:01:07 pm

16 seconds after Seth

Seth

1/5/2021 06:41:28 pm

Lol
😂

Seth

1/5/2021 05:47:02 pm

In conclusion, eating healthy boosts one’s immune system, keeps one’s body healthy and gives one’s body energy. Eating healthy also helps prevent sicknesses such as diabetes and heart disease. “To ensure good health: eat lightly, breathe deeply, live moderately, cultivate cheerfulness, and maintain an interest in life.” -William Londen

i used a “Quote” to end my paragraph

Seth

1/5/2021 06:42:59 pm

Nathan gave me feedback on discord

In conclusion, eating healthy boosts one’s immune system keeps one’s body healthy and gives one’s body energy. Eating healthy also helps prevent sicknesses such as diabetes and heart disease. “To ensure good health: eat lightly, breathe deeply, live moderately, cultivate cheerfulness, and maintain an interest in life.” -William Londen

I used a “quote” to end my paragraph

Tyson

1/5/2021 07:41:02 pm

You should just text Nathan instead of putting it there, you do not have to put it is a recommendation. Try to make it a bit long and you do not need to put every single detail like "Eating healthy also helps prevent sicknesses such as diabetes and heart disease" because your just wrapping everything up, not explaining everything. Just like a small recap with small/barely any details. Otherwise, good job! (Please do not get offended at me for writing a bit more then usual)

Ryo

1/5/2021 05:57:08 pm

Overall, Japan has really large cities that has more population than Canada, really great food, and one of the best technology in the world! Japan is a great country and I hope you will go to Japan too!

Recommendation

Luiza

1/5/2021 07:43:00 pm

instead of more population you should switch it to a larger population

Ryo

1/5/2021 08:58:52 pm

Overall, Japan has really large cities that has a larger population than Canada, really great food, and one of the best technology in the world! Japan is a great country and I hope you will go to Japan too!

Recommendation

Roen

1/5/2021 06:27:56 pm

Love can be a delightful expirience or an dangerous one, by having people that love you, you will most likely be happy throughout life, but love can be dangerous, how? People that don't have lovers or family can lead to depression and guess what depression can lead to? Suicidal decisions. Or, maybe they broke up with someone they loved SO MUCH that they decided to do some things im not alowed to say at school. Therebefore you should always maintain a mentally happy life. Or at least try your best.

“The world we discovered doesn't love you as much as your family does.” - Louis Zamperini

on my concluding paragraph i did the "quote" and how love is good or bad, (i said in my intro that i can bring us together or tear us apart) so i think this concluding sentence/paragraph works a lot because. It follows the criteria

Samantha

1/5/2021 06:51:14 pm

Feedback! You spelt experience and allowed wrong. Also, recheck your grammar for things like "im". Other then that, great meaningful connection!

Trevor

1/5/2021 06:52:21 pm

Hey Roen! please remember to capitalize your I's next time.
*I not i.*

Mika

1/5/2021 06:52:42 pm

cool paragraph, I think you meant experience instead of expirience though lmao (idk maybe you meant expirience)

Roen

1/5/2021 07:05:13 pm

grammar mistakes*

Trevor

1/5/2021 06:48:42 pm

Manatees are an endangered species that we have to work to protect. An older species, the Steller's Sea Cow, was hunted to extinction in the 18th century. How can we protect their Habitat? How is it possible to preserve the plants they eat? How can we help them live to the longest possible amount of years? Is it within your reach to protect them in order to repopulate? What can we do to keep these beings with unique behaviors alive? The group called "Save The Manatees Club" has a whole bunch of ways to help Manatees. They NEED our help to stay alive.

Roen

1/5/2021 06:49:52 pm

You need to put what kind of conclusion you did! But goodjob anyway!

Trevor

1/5/2021 07:00:34 pm

XD yeah I know Roen I added it now.

Trevor

1/5/2021 06:50:58 pm

Forgot to add:
I used the call for action.

Trevor (revised PAR)

1/5/2021 07:01:06 pm

Mika

1/5/2021 06:50:22 pm

To sum up everything, I believe that the whole shifting is a great yet sad concept. Some may have toxic, abusive, depression and so on leading to people looking at shifting as a solution to the problem when it's really not. It's not a good idea to avoid your problems, they only get more severe and they might just lead to atrocious endings.
(consequences)

The people that work on YouTube, co-founders, everything about it makes YouTube much more convenient and I honestly can't believe that this was only made in 2005 considering that computers became a normal thing to have at home in the '80's. Continuing down this path will eventually die out though even if it is the best thing created, anyone can make an app and anyone can become the next big thing in the future.
(make a prediction)

(I haven't decided yet and Mr. Hong didn't respond to me so here it is😃🔪)

lars

1/5/2021 07:19:24 pm

for the first one maybe explain what shifting is at least where it came from cus maybe its just me but i had to google

Mika

1/6/2021 08:34:14 am

okay

Mika

1/6/2021 08:35:41 am

To sum up everything, I believe that the whole shifting is a great yet sad concept. Being able to shift to a whole other reality and meet your favourite characters with the experience actually being realistic is something I really like the idea of but it can also have downsides. Some may have toxic, abusive, depression and so on leading to people looking at shifting as a solution to the problem when it's really not. It's not a good idea to avoid your problems, they only get more severe and they might just lead to atrocious endings.
(results and consequences)

The people that work on YouTube, co-founders, everything about it makes YouTube much more convenient and I honestly can't believe that this was only made in 2005 considering that computers became a normal thing to have at home in the '80's. Continuing down this path will eventually die out though even if it is the best thing created, anyone can make an app and anyone can become the next big thing in the future.
(make a prediction)

Luiza

1/5/2021 06:51:24 pm

2020 has been a rough year for all of us. Some of us might have been given COVID symptoms or were annoyed with all we do to prevent it. 2021 is now here. People are now getting vaccines. But we still don’t know when it will end. 2 weeks or 10 years, who knows. All I know is we need to make sure to use this information so we can be safe. Just because it is a new year doesn’t mean the virus suddenly disappeared. So I have a goal for everyone this year. Try your hardest and maybe we can have some sort of normal again. “ Tough times never last. Tough people do.”

Samantha

1/5/2021 07:52:03 pm

feedback! When you said "So I have a goal for everyone this year" you should add a comma so it is "So, I have a goal for everyone this year". Also, is that quote you added at the last sentence? If that is a quote you should add who said that quote. Great concluding sentence too! :)

Luiza

1/5/2021 08:03:28 pm

2020 has been a rough year for all of us. Some of us might have been given COVID symptoms or were annoyed with all we do to prevent it. 2021 is now here. People are now getting vaccines. But we still don’t know when it will end. 2 weeks or 10 years, who knows. All I know is we need to make sure to use this information so we can be safe. Just because it is a new year doesn’t mean the virus suddenly disappeared. So, I have a goal for everyone this year. Try your hardest and maybe we can have some sort of normal again. “ Tough times never last. Tough people do.” - Doctor Robert Schuller

Luiza

1/5/2021 07:31:02 pm

type of concluding paragraph:
call to action

Magnus

1/5/2021 07:50:15 pm

Overall, playing video games have their pros which includes learning new things, having fun with friends, and inspiring people to make cool stuff. If more people play games, then more people might work on video games and have fun. Well, maybe you would be inspired or have fun with friends when you play a new game.

Magnus

1/5/2021 07:52:16 pm

I made a prediction

Luiza

1/5/2021 08:05:31 pm

You should add a concluding sentence

Roy

1/5/2021 08:38:13 pm

In summary, modern technology is crucial to us through thousands of years of evolution and development. Its current state is impressive, and there still are many advancements to come. I believe that if countries, influential people, and hardworking people invest more money and effort in renovating technology, humanity would change, whether for good or for bad. The future is in our hands, will you do something to change it?

I used the suggest results or consequences conclusion.

Mason

1/5/2021 08:42:09 pm

I don't know about for good or for bad. It is correct grammar but it doesn't sound very professional when you read it. You can specify it and say "whether in good ways or bad ways", Your choice personally.

Jeffrey (Div 2)

1/6/2021 09:58:41 am

Try not to use the words "I believe". The entire essay is about your opinion.

Ryo

1/5/2021 08:57:21 pm

Mr. Hong, I forgot to bring my math home.

Annika

1/5/2021 09:26:05 pm

Finding a reference while making a base sketch so than you have something to go off of and so you can still move things around, Fine lining is after you have finished adding all the detail then you just need to trace over it with a steady hand, coloring before that you need a color palate (it helps a lot) are all main parts of drawing. Even Though it is enjoyable it is also very time consuming and critical At times. So what are you waiting for, go, go start you drawing, let's see what you can come up with.

Annika

1/5/2021 09:29:47 pm

suggesting results and or consequences

I think

Luiza

1/5/2021 09:37:11 pm

When u say At time u don’t need a capital and you can take away the you part when you say start you drawing

Annika revised

1/5/2021 09:43:23 pm

Finding a reference while making a base sketch so than you have something to go off of and so you can still move things around, Fine lining is after you have finished adding all the detail then you just need to trace over it with a steady hand, coloring before you do that i suggest getting a color palate. (it helps a lot) They are all main parts of drawing. Even Though it is enjoyable it is also very time consuming and critical at times. So what are you waiting for, go, let's see what you can come up with.

Kyle c

1/5/2021 10:01:55 pm

In conclusion, I think that you and your family will have a great time during your stay in Hong Kong! There are so mulch to explore even though it is a very compact city. You can explore the beautiful parks, amazing stores that you never seen before and all the goodies that you would need hours to choose the best out of all of them! Have you ever thought about visiting Hong Kong?

Jeffrey (Div 2)

1/6/2021 09:55:49 am

There is a mistake in sentence 2. Try to find it. There is also two "explore" right next to each other. Maybe use different words. One last thing that you can improve on is that a comma is used for listing more than two things. In sentence 3, you put a comma listing only 2 places. In this case, "and" would be grammatically correct.

Melissa

1/6/2021 08:25:28 am

2020 has felt like the longest but shortest year, and most of this is because Covid 19, the journey of overcoming Covid 19 is finding out the side effects, making the vaccine, and distribution. Right now we are distributing the vaccine and soon Covid 19 will be over and are lives will be normal again, but if we don’t give the general population the vaccine until later, life will still be like how it is now.

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