HAPPY NEW YEAR! PLEASE COMPLETE THE TERM 1 SURVEY!

1/5/2022

Happy New Year everyone! I hope you all enjoyed the holidays. I will update the class website with any new information I receive.

If you are looking for anything to do this week, please feel free to work on your inquiry projects, read as much as you can, and do something creative! Get onto YouTube and find an art project to work on1
IMPORTANT:
1.) STUDENTS: Please click here and complete this learning survey for term 1. Please complete this today if possible. Follow all instructions on the survey.

LEARNING/PLANNER:
1.) TERM 1 LEARNING SURVEY: CLICK HERE! THIS IS MANDATORY! Please complete today.

2.) POST A RESPONSE:

LEARNING INTENTION: I can share something interesting that I did over the holidays.
SUCCESS CRITERIA:
1.) Paragraph format: intro/body/conclusion
2.) BODY: Include 2-3 supporting points/examples with details.
3.) GIVENS: spelling/grammar/sentence structure/grammar/punctuation/capitals
4.) SELF-ASSESSMENT: Check your paragraph with the criteria above.
5.) PEER-ASSESSMENT: Give 2 other students some descriptive feedback to improve their
paragraphs.
6.) REVISION: Post your revised version.

VIDEO LINKS:
New Year Songs 2021

Rhea

1/5/2022 02:50:30 pm

First

Angela

1/5/2022 02:52:39 pm

Rhea

1/5/2022 03:20:58 pm

As I open the oven, an aroma of cinnamon sugar floods the kitchen, and the fragrance is unlike any other. The buns are rich in colour, and the take the appearance to another level. What am I talking about? Baking! Over the winter break, I baked many buns, such as cinnamon rolls, garlic bread, and snickerdoodles. Firstly, as a described earlier, I made cinnamon buns. Spreading the cinnamon sugar over the sticky dough and rolling it up into buns, the rolls were incredibly fun to make, and eating it was even more pleasurable. In addition, garlic bread was one of the family favorites. With my mother's Hong Kong borscht soup, the bread sticks were devoured in less than a day. Finally I baked snickerdoodles, which are cinnamon cookies. Although the snickerdoodles did not expand as much as I would have liked it, they were still equal in taste. In a way, they were somewhat like Timbits! In conclusion, over the winter break, I made a variety of foods and have improve in many baking techniques. What activities did you do over the winter break?

Rhea

1/5/2022 03:21:36 pm

I should change some wordings.

Rhea

1/5/2022 03:26:00 pm

As I open the oven, the aroma of cinnamon sugar floods the kitchen, and the sweet fragrance is unlike any other. The buns are rich in colour, and the curls in it take the appearance to another level. What am I talking about? Baking! Over the winter break, I baked many foods, such as cinnamon rolls, garlic bread, and snickerdoodles. Firstly, as a described earlier, I made cinnamon buns. Spreading the cinnamon sugar over the sticky dough and rolling it up, the rolls were incredibly fun to make, and eating it was even more pleasurable. With the cinnamon on the outside and the sugar on the inside, the taste was incredible. In addition, garlic bread was one of my family’s favorites. With my mother's Hong Kong borscht soup, the soft bread sticks were devoured in less than a day. Finally, I baked snickerdoodles, which are essentially cinnamon cookies. Although the snickerdoodles did not expand as much as I would have liked it, they were still flavorsome. In a way, they were somewhat like cinnamon Timbits! In conclusion, over the winter break, I made a variety of foods and have improve in many baking techniques. What activities have you done over the winter break?

Crystal

1/9/2022 06:42:03 pm

@Rhea - Wow! Sounds yummy
FEEDBACK:
1) Maybe instead of saying 'the curls', you could say 'the swirls'?
2) "Firstly, as (I) described earlier..."
3) "...sticky dough and rolling it up, the rolls were..." Maybe you could say the buns or another word for 'rolls', since you stated rolling earlier, it sounds a little strange.
4) "...a variety of foods and have improve(d) in many..."
Sounds like you had a great winter break!

Rhea (Revised)

1/9/2022 08:59:18 pm

As I open the oven, the aroma of cinnamon sugar floods the kitchen, and the sweet fragrance is unlike any other. The buns are rich in colour, and the swirls in it take the appearance to another level. What am I talking about? Baking! Over the winter break, I baked many foods, such as cinnamon rolls, garlic bread, and snickerdoodles. Firstly, as I described earlier, I made cinnamon buns. Spreading the cinnamon sugar over the sticky dough and rolling it up, the buns were incredibly fun to make, and eating it was even more pleasurable. With the cinnamon on the outside and the sugar on the inside, the taste was incredible. In addition, garlic bread was one of my family’s favorites. With my mother's Hong Kong borscht soup, the soft bread sticks were devoured in less than a day. Finally, I baked snickerdoodles, which are essentially cinnamon cookies. Although the snickerdoodles did not expand as much as I would have liked it, they were still flavorsome. In a way, they were somewhat like cinnamon Timbits! In conclusion, over the winter break, I made a variety of foods and have improved in many baking techniques. What activities have you done over the winter break?

Melissa

1/5/2022 03:27:37 pm

3rd

Melissa

1/8/2022 09:25:40 pm

What are some exciting and fun things to do over a break? Wether if it’s summer break, spring break or even winter break! But I’ll focus talking about winter break. Instead of staying home for the whole 2 weeks, you could go sledding when it snows! If that’s not an option due to what place your in, you could go ice fishing, have a nice nap, go skating indoors or out doors and even even decorating a gingerbread house! Those are just some suggestions. If I had to pick one of those choices, I would for sure go with taking a nap. Who doesn’t enjoy sleeping? Unless if you can’t fall asleep half of the times. But those are some suggestions to do over winter break if you’re unsure!

Melissa

1/8/2022 09:29:13 pm

I stayed home so I don’t have anything to write about what I did over my winter break.

Melissa

1/9/2022 10:43:06 pm

Feedback:

Great paragraph! One thing you haven’t followed is the learning intention. Despite that you said you stayed home during the winter break, I’m sure that you did something indoors! Maybe crafting, drawing and cooking! Make sure to be more specific on activities you’ve done. Something you could possibly improve on is following the success criteria, and knowing where to put your punctuations and spelling mistake. In one of your sentences where you said - “what place your in” change “your” into “You’re”. Overall, just mainly focus on the success criteria!

Melissa

1/9/2022 10:51:26 pm

Revised:

What are some exciting things I did over a break? Well, due to Covid, and the new virus, I couldn’t do much! But I definitely did some fun things that I enjoyed at home. I crafted a gingerbread house with icing, and some candies that were in my pantry! It turned it great and I chose to not eat it, but instead put it as a decoration in my home! It was a blast. During Saturday’s and Sunday's, I went to one of my friends home to hang around at, and we even made cookies! Which wasn’t my idea, a few of the cookies got burnt, but we still decided to eat them because why not. Overall, not much that exciting but I still enjoyed this winter break! Some extra things I did were read, finish outside math and research about ancient Egypt. What did you do for your winter break?

Jeremy

1/5/2022 04:36:41 pm

4th

Winna

1/6/2022 07:04:31 pm

Fifth

Winna

1/6/2022 07:32:12 pm

Have you ever been to a museum? During this holiday, I went to a museum-Gulf of Georgia Cannery. There are two other places I went to is Burnaby village museum and Fort Langley (National historic site of Canada).

Gulf of Cannery is pretty interesting, because you can learn about the history of fishing village of Stevenson. The people from the village went overfishing for salmon. Some voted that they should stop, but some voted they should continue. Then, they learnt to catch other fish. But
they were still overfishing, so they were ordered to stop. And only catch some fish for oil and stuff. The only bad thing about the museum is the temperature was -2.

Overall, it was a pretty good visit or experience, because I learnt some new stuff.

Winna

1/6/2022 07:32:50 pm

I met the criteria and the requirements.

Winna

1/6/2022 07:34:30 pm

@Winna
FEEDBACK 1: I can talk about the other two museums, too.
FEEDBACK 2: I can try to make my conclusion longer.

Winna

1/6/2022 08:07:40 pm

Have you ever been to a museum? During this holiday, I went to a museum-Gulf of Georgia Cannery. There are two other places I went to is Burnaby village museum and Fort Langley (Historic Site of Canada).

Gulf of Cannery is pretty interesting, because you can learn about the history of fishing village of Stevenson. The people from the village went overfishing for salmon. Some voted that they should stop, but some voted they should continue. Then, they learnt to catch other fish. But
they were still overfishing, so they were ordered to stop. And only catch some fish for oil and stuff. The only bad thing about the museum is the temperature was -2.

Burnaby village museum is really pretty at night. There’s a small town showed there to let us see what the shops, a bank and a school looks like in the past. The best thing is a cafe that has really delicious food.

Fort Langley (Historic Site of Canada)has a big field in the middle. I think it’s about how the people in the past work. It’s also about the difference of the richer people and the poorer people. The richer people got to live in the white big house, while the poorer live in an original brown house. There’s also a gold mining place. You can get gold from there if you want to (I don’t know if they are real or not), but you have to put your hands in the water to find one. My dad, sister and brother all got one. I didn’t, because I was cold and went into a warmer house with my mum. Also, I think it’s easier to find gold (pretty small) at the end of the container, because the water pushes them to that side and i guess the gold got pushed that way as well.

Overall, these three museums are really nice to visit. I learnt the history that was showed in the museums and they were pretty interesting.

Rhea

1/6/2022 10:06:28 pm

@Winna Nice work! I have also been to the Burnaby Village Museum :)

FEEDBACK: When you retell an experience, I think you should always use past tense, although you can use present tense when you still do/think something up till now. That way, your paragraphs are much clearer to understand. For example, maybe your last sentence could be "I think it *would have been* easier to find gold (pretty small) at the end of the container, because the water *pushed* them to that side and *I* guess the gold got pushed that way as well."

Great story!

Winna

1/8/2022 02:24:25 pm

@Rhea,ok

Winna(REVISED 2)

1/8/2022 02:30:01 pm

Have you ever been to a museum? During this holiday, I went to a museum-Gulf of Georgia Cannery. There are two other places I went to is Burnaby village museum and Fort Langley (Historic Site of Canada).

Gulf of Cannery is pretty interesting, because you can learn about the history of fishing village of Stevenson. The people from the village went overfishing for salmon. Some voted that they should stop, but some voted they should continue. Then, they learnt to catch other fish. But
they were still overfishing, so they were ordered to stop. And only catch some fish for oil and stuff. The only bad thing about the museum is the temperature was -2.

Burnaby village museum is really pretty at night. There’s a small town showed there to let us see what the shops, a bank and a school looks like in the past. The best thing is a cafe that has really delicious food.

Fort Langley (Historic Site of Canada)has a big field in the middle. I think it’s about how the people in the past work. It’s also about the difference of the richer people and the poorer people. The richer people got to live in the white big house, while the poorer live in an original brown house. There’s also a gold mining place. You can get gold from there if you want to (I don’t know if they are real or not), but you have to put your hands in the water to find one. My dad, sister and brother all got one. I didn’t, because I was cold and went into a warmer house with my mum. Also, I think it would have been easier to find gold (pretty small) at the end of the container, because the water pushed them to that side and I guess the gold got pushed that way as well.

Overall, these three museums are really nice to visit. I learnt the history that was showed in the museums and they were pretty interesting.

I met the criteria and the requirements.

Caroline

1/9/2022 07:30:50 pm

@Winna- It sounds like you had fun! I think I have been to all of these museums!

Feedback: Make sure to check your grammar on some sentences

Beth

1/7/2022 01:00:35 pm

Rhea

1/7/2022 03:55:18 pm

@Bethany This is such a good paragraph! You have met all the requirements.

FEEDBACK: Maybe you can talk about one specific moment with your dog. That way, more details and examples are in your writing. This is just an idea since you have already met all the criteria :)

ASH

1/7/2022 07:57:18 pm

@Beth- Amazing! I really liked reading it, I can visualize what you did in winter breach while reading your experience.

FEEDBACK: I agree with Rhea and maybe while you do your revised version maybe explain when your puppy did some mistakes can name some mistakes that he/she has done.

Jayden

1/7/2022 08:54:29 pm

@Beth
you don't need to put quite in the last sentance

Beth

1/10/2022 04:39:23 pm

SELF ASSESSMENT: I could add more details to my writing.

Beth (REVISED)

1/10/2022 04:59:04 pm

As a warm, fluffy creature scampers towards me, curling up at my feet, I can't help but think how lucky I am this winter break. She sniffs my hand, as if checking for something to eat. I still find it hard to believe that, as of December 15th, I have my very own puppy.
For months, my mom and I were begging my brother and dad for a puppy. I have to say, I was beginning to lose hope by that point. Then, on the Saturday before winter break, it was my mom's birthday. As a birthday gift, the two people who we had been begging to agree with us finally gave in.
Honestly, I didn't do much during winter break. For the majority of the time, I simply relaxed at home and played games. But, the rest of it was pure enjoyment and fun playing with my puppy. Throughout the few weeks that we've been with her, our dog brightened up what would have been a boring, gloomy break. There were several accidents, mostly including our living room carpet, but how can you blame her? Her soft and quiet personality makes her even more lovable than she already is. However, you get to know her, you can see how loud she can be. Just a few nights ago, we decided to let her sleep downstairs so she wouldn't keep us up with her "dream barking." The whole night, though she was exhausted, she whimpered persistently. She was used to sleeping in our company. In the middle of the night, I went down to comfort her, and somehow she ended up at the foot of my bed sleeping soundly. But, a few minutes later, we had bring her back to her crate once more. Inevitably, at four o'clock in the morning, she began to bark. So, in the end, she slept upstairs with us. I never quite realized how persistent dogs could be. Looking back at it, this winter break was rather unlike the past years, but it's definitely one to remember.

ASH

1/7/2022 05:42:05 pm

@Everyone- I don't understand what is the PAR about? And what survey?

ASH

1/7/2022 05:43:09 pm

Nvm I know what the PAR is.

ASH

1/7/2022 07:33:57 pm

Birthdays, new years, Christmas. 3 of my favourite times in the year. wait. You want to know what I did in winter break? I glad to tell you.
Firstly, on December 25th it was Christmas, it snowed on Christmas I never saw snow on Christmas anyways on Christmas, me and my brother came rushing downstairs and guess what we saw... presents! We ripped the presents open and I got airpods and clothing and etc. I was overjoyed and hugged my parents and we we all had pancakes for breakfast! At night we had a huge dinner with family and friends don't worry they were tested and go negative. After our amazing day, four days later it was my mom's birthday we went to an Indian restaurant called The Yellow Kitchen, I highly recommend it, we came back home and celebrated. then on new years we waited till 12:00 while we watched news then after 12:00 we ate cake and we all went to sleep in conclusion, we had an incredible winter break what about yours? it must be amazing!

I have finished the survey and I have seen and followed the success criteria and all the requirements.

Jayden

1/7/2022 08:55:34 pm

@Ash
In the last sentence change it to I have finished the survey, I have seen, and followed the success criteria and all the requirements

ASH

1/8/2022 12:55:02 pm

@Jayden- Oh okay, thanks for letting me know!

ASH (SELF- ASSESMENT)

1/7/2022 07:36:19 pm

I have some grammar mistakes I'm missing some commas and periods.

ASH (SELF-ASSESMENT)

1/7/2022 07:39:02 pm

and having a interesting topic sentence

ASH (REVISED)

1/7/2022 07:49:33 pm

Winter break, has a lot of holidays and new experiences being with your family. What I did on my winter break is incredibly awesome! keep reading to know what I did in winter break. December 25th it was Christmas, me and my brother came rushing downstairs and guess what we saw... presents! We ripped the presents open and I got airpods and clothing and etc. I was overjoyed and hugged and thanked them, we all had pancakes for breakfast! At night we had a huge dinner with my family and watched movies. On December 29th, it was my mom's birthday we went to an Indian restaurant called The Yellow Kitchen, I highly recommend it, we came back home and celebrated and watched movies again till midnight. On December 31st on new year night we waited till 12:00 while we watched news then after 12:00 we ate cake and we all went to sleep in conclusion, we had an incredible winter break what about yours? it must be amazing!

I have finished the survey and I have seen and followed the success criteria and all the requirements.

Caroline

1/9/2022 07:34:00 pm

@Ashleigh- Great paragraph! It seems like you had a fun winter break.

Feedback: Check for the givens, and the word AirPods should have two capitals.

Jayden

1/7/2022 09:13:24 pm

Did you know you could do these things if you’re bored this holiday? If you couldn’t do anything fun through the Holidays and tried to go somewhere fun, you could try taking a subway system at the front cab to watch the front view for fun. I also planned on having some Christmas dinner with my aunt, but she wasn’t feeling well. I’ve been bored for most of the days on the holidays and I begged my parents that I wanted to go on the Skytrain.

My parents first demonstrated me to ride it from Richmond Brighouse-Marine Drive by my self. The next day I wanted to take the Expo line and Millennium line all by my self and after taking the full route of the Skytrain network, everything went fine, and I didn’t even get Kidnapped.

I also went to the swimming pool at Hilcrest, I could jump off the diving board at the middle, but I couldn’t go to the highest because I was worried that I could splash myself too hard. It was also the first time for my little brother Landon to jump on the diving board (the lowest one).
I was worried that he would drown if he jumped off the diving board but luckily, I grabbed on his hand after he jumped off the diving board.

These were the only 2 things that I have done in the Holidays, and I disliked my Holiday because I didn’t get to go out a lot and I mostly stayed home playing video games and watching TV. In conclusion I did have a mini dinner with Landon’s friend Adrien, and it was kind of great.

If you have enjoyed anything at the holidays share them to me?

Angela

1/8/2022 04:21:03 pm

During the winter break I went to a park where there was huge hills, There we took pictures and walked up and down the hills, in fact we also celebrated one of my cousins birthday virtually. For their birthday my family played a game where somebody sends a red pocket virtually to everyone in the chat so whoever receives the most money has to send another red pocket. I usually spent most of my time at home because of covid. Overall i had a great time during my winter break that is what I did.

Vernice

1/8/2022 05:10:29 pm

@Angela- It seems like you had a great winter break.
Feedback: You can add a hook and the last sentence ‘l’ have to be capitalized.

Angela

1/9/2022 01:14:40 pm

Revised

During the winter break I went to a park where there was huge hills, There we took pictures and walked up and down the hills, in fact we also celebrated one of my cousins birthday virtually. For their birthday my family played a game where somebody sends a red pocket virtually to everyone in the chat so whoever receives the most money has to send another red pocket. I usually spent most of my time at home because of covid but at home I would call my friends if i was bored. Overall i had a great time during my winter break that is what I did during winter break.

Vernice

1/8/2022 05:32:26 pm

What did you do during the winter break? During the holidays, I went skiing with my friends at Mt. Seymour. There were many fun things that happen when we were skiing. First, because my friends never ski before so I got to teach them how to ski. Second, due to Covid-19 we couldn’t bring our own food and drinks into the cafeteria and because of that we were eating in the snow which was actually comfortable. Last, once we saw a rat crawling in the skiing area. I thought rats were afraid of the cold and were hibernating. Overall, I had a restful and wonderful winter break.

Crystal

1/9/2022 06:48:44 pm

@Vernice - Sounds like fun!
FEEDBACK:
1) "There were many fun things that happen(ed) when..."
2) "...my friends never ski(ed) before..."
3) "...into the cafeteria (,) and because of that (,) ...in the snow (,)..."
4) "Last(ly), we saw a rat..."

Vernice

1/9/2022 07:29:30 pm

(Revised)
What did you do during the winter break? During the holidays, I went skiing with my friends at Mt. Seymour. There were many fun things that happened when we were skiing. Firstly, because my friends never skied before so I got to teach them how to ski. Secondly, due to Covid-19 we couldn’t bring our own food and drinks into the cafeteria, and because of that, we were eating in the snow, which was actually comfortable. Lastly, once we saw a rat crawling in the skiing area. I thought rats were afraid of the cold and were hibernating. Overall, I had a restful and wonderful winter break.

Ella

1/8/2022 06:07:03 pm

Do you want to know what I did during the winter break? Then let me tell you. I played in the snow with my siblings. We had a snowball fight. Also while I we had a snowball fight my brother started to role a really big snowball. Then the next week went sledding with my brothers friend but we couldn’t slide down the hill because the snow was really thick. Then on Wednesday me and my siblings made rice cake with our mom. That was what I did throughout the winter break.

Jeremy

1/8/2022 07:41:07 pm

@Ella-Nice paragraph!
FEEDBACK: When you said "Also while I we had a snowball fight" on that 5th sentence you put an extra "I" before the "we".

Beth

1/10/2022 05:07:39 pm

@Ella - It sounds like u had a very eventful winter break!

FEEDBACK: Adding more detail could make your paragraph a little bit more exciting. ;)

Jeremy

1/8/2022 06:35:45 pm

Have you traveled in winter break? Well, I went to a 5 day trip to Mexico Cancun in a resort called El cid beach resort. I was very excited for the trip because I haven't traveled ever since covid hit. And you know, that you couldn't really travel because all of the covid restrictions and the danger of getting covid. Two interesting things I did during the trip were. First of all, eating lots of fancy food that tasted really good. Lastly, going swimming in the many out door pools there were at the resort and because it was really hot swimming was really refreshing. In conclusion I had a really good time at the resort and had a really good winter break.

Jeremy

1/8/2022 07:28:02 pm

Self-assessment: When I said "Have you traveled in winter break?" I should be more specific that I was talking about this winter break not any winter break.

Jeremy

1/8/2022 07:31:53 pm

Have you traveled in this winter break? Well, I went on a 5 day trip to Mexico Cancun in a resort called El cid beach resort. I was very excited for the trip because I haven't traveled in a long time ever since covid hit. And you know, that you couldn't really travel because all of the covid restrictions and the danger of getting covid. Two interesting things I did during the trip were. First of all, eating lots of fancy food that tasted really good. Lastly, going swimming in the many out door pools there were at the resort and because it was really hot swimming was really refreshing. In conclusion I had a really good time at the resort and had a really good winter break.

Jeremy

1/8/2022 07:33:02 pm

I forgot to say revised.

Beth

1/10/2022 05:02:59 pm

@Jeremy - Mexico sounds fun!

FEEDBACK: Please check the givens.

Brendan

1/9/2022 06:27:46 pm

Elegant displays of delicate snowflakes floating down from the sky, forming a snowy layer on all exposed surfaces, like a blanket on a bed. This perfectly describes the weather present on many days throughout the winter break and stills holds somewhat true as numerous patches of snow are still visible outside. The snow provided entertainment for me on multiple occasions when my parents were busy working. Firstly, I built a snow fort for fun because I was bored at the time. Unfortunately, due to the gradual increase in temperature, it started to melt along with most of the snow in the city. In addition, I also celebrated Christmas with my family during this winter break. One of my gifts was an Apple Pen that my dad told me to use to complete work more efficiently. In conclusion, even with the ongoing pandemic, I was still able to have fun this winter break.

Rachel

1/10/2022 05:00:16 am

@brendan - Well done! I loved your topic sentence, since it was creative and colourful.

Feedback - There isn't much to say since your paragraph is downright amazing, but I think you could add to what you said about celebrating Christmas with your family. I'm sure receiving a gift wasn't the only thing you did that day!

Brendan

1/10/2022 06:32:21 pm

Elegant displays of delicate snowflakes floating down from the sky, forming a snowy layer on all exposed surfaces, like a blanket on a bed. This perfectly describes the weather present on many days throughout the winter break and stills holds somewhat true as numerous patches of snow are still visible outside. The snow provided entertainment for me on multiple occasions when my parents were busy working. Firstly, I built a snow fort for fun because I was bored at the time. Unfortunately, due to the gradual increase in temperature, it started to melt along with most of the snow in the city. In addition, I also celebrated Christmas with my family during this winter break. One of my gifts was an Apple Pen that my dad told me to use to complete work more efficiently. Later in that day, my family had a delicious dinner together, which included fantastic dishes like seafood. In conclusion, even with the ongoing pandemic, I was still able to have fun this winter break.

(REVISED)

Crystal

1/9/2022 06:30:22 pm

My winter break was quit uneventful, filled with mostly homework, gymnastics, and classes. I spent most of my break at home, doing math homework and talking with friends. One of the best parts about winter break was that my parents still had to work, so I was home alone most of the time, however I still had to do homework. Practically the only interesting part about my winter break is that today is my birthday. I woke up to many birthday wishes and Happy Birthdays, along with many scratches from my dog. We had a filling breakfast, lunch, and dinner, followed by more homework. Although this wasn't the most exciting winter break, I'm still grateful for all my friends and family that surrounded me with love and happiness.

Crystal

1/9/2022 06:31:10 pm

Self-assessment - I had some spelling errors and I should also change some of my wording.

Crystal (Revised)

1/9/2022 06:32:53 pm

My winter break was quite uneventful, filled with mostly homework, gymnastics, and classes. I spent most of my break at home, doing math homework, playing games, and talking with friends. One of the best parts about winter break was that my parents still had to work, so I was home alone most of the time, however I still had to do homework. Practically the only interesting part about my winter break is that today is my birthday. I woke up to many birthday wishes and Happy Birthdays, along with far too many scratches from my dog. We had a very filling breakfast, lunch, and dinner, followed by more homework. Although this wasn't the most exciting winter break, I'm still grateful for all my friends and family that surrounded me with love and happiness.

Caroline

1/9/2022 07:23:54 pm

Apart from the celebrating the holidays, my winter break was pretty boring. On Christmas Eve though, my family made pavlova. If you don't know what it is, it's basically like a merengue except slightly chewier on the inside, with fruit and cream. It was so good, I kept wanting more until sadly, there was no more. Christmas Day was pretty great too, as I got to spend time with my family and open presents. The only other major thing other than celebrating Christmas that I did was going sledding with my brother and cousin. We went to Quilchena Park on one of the days where there was freshly-fallen snow. As I wanted to avoid what happened last year, (I kept crashing into people because I couldn't control the sled) we went to an area where there were less people and made sure our sleds were aimed at the direction we knew we wouldn't crash into stuff based on the direction we knew the sleds would swerve. Even though I didn't do much on my winter break, I still enjoyed the time to relax and spend time with family.

Caroline

1/9/2022 07:25:20 pm

self assessment- I should change the wordings of some sentences

Caroline (Revised)

1/9/2022 07:27:47 pm

Apart from the celebrating the holidays, my winter break was pretty boring. On Christmas Eve though, my family made pavlova. If you don't know what it is, it's basically like a merengue except slightly chewier on the inside, with fruit and cream. It was so good, I kept wanting more until sadly, there was no more. Christmas Day was pretty great too, as I got to spend time with my family and open presents. The only other major thing other than celebrating Christmas that I did was going sledding with my brother and cousin. We went to Quilchena Park on one of the days where there was freshly-fallen snow. As I wanted to avoid what happened last year, (I kept crashing into people because I couldn't control the sled) we went to an area where there were less people and made sure our sleds were aimed at the direction we knew they wouldn't crash into stuff, based on the direction we knew the sleds would go. Even though I didn't do much on my winter break, I still enjoyed the time to relax and spend time with family.

Trevor

1/9/2022 07:36:54 pm

My winter break was quite special this year, since we had a snowy Christmas. I mostly stayed at home to read and watch movies due to the new omicron variant. I also went out to have fun in the snow and had dinner with my relatives. Unfortunately, I did not have as much Christmas presents as I had in the past, but I was still grateful. I also went to watch Spider-Man No Way Home in the theatre, which was an amazing movie. In conclusion, I was really glad that had a pretty winter break.

Rachel

1/10/2022 04:48:25 am

@trevor - Nice work, and to be honest, I usually stayed at home because of the same reasons!

Feedback - You definitely have the right idea for a paragraph structure, though I think you could be more descriptive with the body of your paragraph. For instance, you could add on to what you said about the movie you watched, like mention what you thought about the movie.

Brendan

1/10/2022 06:36:33 pm

@Trevor- Good job sharing what you did this winter break!

FEEDBACK: Check the givens because you have a few mistakes.

Rhea

1/9/2022 09:01:08 pm

{Par Police}

Me: Completed
Shawn: Incomplete
Jayden: Missing revised version
Bebe: Incomplete
Sam: Incomplete

Melissa

1/9/2022 10:53:27 pm

Par police

Hayden: hasn’t written the Par yet, Not completed. Nor has given feedback

Ella: completed. But has not revised or given feedback.

Angela: completed par. Hasn’t given feedback yet.

Me: completed and revised. Did not give feedback yet either.

Rachel

1/10/2022 04:33:25 am

Snow falls down as the day comes to an end, and students have yet to know what's coming... Winter break! In my opinion, two weeks of no school, (more like three weeks), is quite the pleasurable experience, but apart from that, I didn't really do anything special. I don't celebrate many holidays anymore, so not much was done. On the bright side, I was able to do some things I don't typically do, including fewer work assignments, and a longer sleep schedule. It may not seem like something very interesting, though this made me much more glad to have a long/longer period of winter break, especially because I got the chance to sleep in. Something else that just added a touch of refinement to my day was with the view. What about the view? Well, just watching the achromatic particles gradually fall onto the ground would just tweak up my personality no matter how I was feeling that day. Despite a lack of excitement within my winter break, those little things I mentioned made me grateful, even if I knew my family wouldn't bother celebrating holidays because we're lazy. :)

Rachel • revised

1/10/2022 04:40:59 am

Self assessment - I could change up some of the words I put in my sentences, (some of them feel a little off).

Snow falls down as the day comes to an end, and students have yet to know what's coming... Winter break! In my opinion, two weeks of no school, (more like three weeks), is quite the pleasurable experience, but apart from that, I didn't really do anything special. I don't celebrate many holidays anymore, so pretty much nothing interesting happened. On the bright side, I was able to do some things I don't typically do, including fewer work assignments, and a longer sleep schedule. It may not seem like a thing to be that excited about, though this made me much more glad to have a long/longer period of winter break, especially because I got the chance to sleep in. Something else that just added a touch of refinement to my day was with the view. What about the view? Well, just watching the achromatic particles gradually fall onto the ground would just tweak up my personality no matter what I was feeling that day. Despite a lack of excitement within my winter break, those little things I mentioned made me grateful, even if I knew my family wouldn't bother celebrating certain holidays because we're lazy. :)

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