MONDAY: Body Paragraph Structure

4/28/2014

Today, students reviewed body paragraph structure. Students shared good examples and ones that needed improvement. All students were able to tell the difference between a concrete detail (solid) or a wishy washy one that would not persuade anyone. The structure that was reviewed included:

a.) Topic sentences
b.) Transition words
c.) Supporting sentences (examples, quotes, statistics, research, etc) followed by 2-3 sentences - commentary)
d.) Concluding Sentences

Tomorrow, we will incorporate one more section into your body paragraphs for your persuasive essays that was not discussed today.

1.) MATH 6: Any assigned work.
MATH 7: Complete 4.4 of your textbooks.

2.) SOCIALS:

Decide on an ancient civilization you want to research.
Keep track of any good sources you find (Google Drive - Ancient Civilization Research dil).
Use the Google Drive research toolbar to keep track of your soured.

3.) POST A RESPONSE / LA:

Make sure you have posted the following on your persuasive essay file on your Google Drives.
Most recent introductory paragraph (from website), topic sentences, 2 types of supporting sentences (not the actual sentences, just the type) and a concluding sentence.
If you have already written your supporting sentences, you are more than welcome to post that as well.
It is very important that you work on your Google Drive and then copy and paste your work here.
Comment and give some constructive feedback to at least one other student and make edits/revisions if feedback is given to you.
Feedback should only be given on topic sentences and concluding sentences only.
Transition Word List

VIDEO LINKS:

Grouting Your Mosaic - This is what you will be doing tomorrow!

Icestone

4/28/2014 03:21:37 am

First!

Gamer

4/28/2014 03:21:37 am

Frist

Jumpergirl

4/28/2014 03:22:13 am

Second

Gamer

4/28/2014 08:29:39 am

What to do......... what to do. ..........

Hi and here is why choice is needed in certain circumstances that abortion is acceptable.

Firstly it is her choice and only her decision to have an abortion or not. Because are you holding that baby, no she is the one
that has to decide what must happen to that baby. Like if the baby is aborted or adopted or some thing else should be done with the baby she should decide.

My Secondary point is that it is part of equality for a man not to say abortion should be banned. No one should tell her how to live her life. In my opinion in certain circumstances men should not have a part in the decision made by the wife or women. If it is not the mans genetic offspring then he should not have a say in this.

My last one .Or because of complicated health problems of the wife or child the man should not have a say. If the circumstance of the situation is severe like rape then abortion should be a choice.

If the severity is high enough abortion should be used.

V.2KX

4/28/2014 09:09:48 am

@Gamer - Your paragraphs are very good but I am not sure if that is all in your own words.

V.2KX

4/28/2014 09:05:47 am

Intro: Oh no! What if I get a C tomorrow on my report card?! My parents would kill me! I think that schools should remove letter grades. First of all, school was created for us to learn, not to rank us and the school grades barely mean anything, just if you did good or bad. Letter grades also give many students stress that builds up anger. Read on to learn why we should remove school grades.
#1: To being with, school is for learning not to grade or rank us.
quote/stat

#2: My second point is that the letter grades give a lot of stress.
statistic/example

#3: Lastly, “Successful People studied to gain knowledge not to gain grades.” -Udayveer Singh Grades do not mean or state anything in life, if you get straight A's for most of your life, it won't change what job you get after university or how you will end up.
quote/example

Conclusion: To conclude, you should have learned why I think that letter grades should be removed from schools. My 3 main points were that the grades do not mean or state anything, school is supposed to be about learning new things, and it gives way too much stress. What do you think would happen if we removed letter grades?

Judy Moody

4/28/2014 09:30:41 am

Good paragraph, although you should add a concluding sentence for each paragraph.

V.2KX

4/28/2014 10:04:51 am

@Judy Moody - Yes I think that I forgot that

V.2KX

4/28/2014 10:07:38 am

#1: To being with, school is for learning not to grade or rank us. S.S
You are probably getting a lot of stress when you even think about getting graded and that leads to my next point.
quote/stat

#2: My second point is that the letter grades give a lot of stress. S.S
Even while getting all that stress, you are kind of getting mad at nothing because grades don't really mean or state anything.
statistic/example

#3: Lastly, “Successful People studied to gain knowledge not to gain grades.” -Udayveer Singh Grades do not mean or state anything in life, if you get straight A's for most of your life, it won't change what job you get after university or how you will end up. S.S
(I am not sure if the last supporting paragraph is supposed to have a concluding sentence)
quote/example

Theoverseeker link

4/28/2014 09:07:39 am

I guess a couple buckets full of the little things will be good for a while. *sigh* I just wish this wouldn't take up so much of my time! I mean come on I left the beach around six in the morning and its already sundown! If only if it were easy enough to just get a bucket and get them all in there. Wait a second, we have a ton a rope that we don't use. Maybe I can use it to make a giant net made of rope to catch them. I think I will call it a fishing net. With this net when we get a ton of fish near the beach, we can drag the net along the water and get the all the fish at once! For example imagine this. you are low on fish to use as food and you and your family are starving and you can't wait to long to get the fish. Imagine what regular fishing could cause in that situation. Now when the fishing net comes in here is what I think would happen. Using the fishing net that can cover a wide area in the water, would be used to catch a bunch of fish at once so the family will no longer worry about starving at the moment. By using the fishing net we control how much fish can reproduce in an area to make it so that we have a fair amount of food in the water. like a food chain, so when the population of fish grows above normal we net fish them and leave some to reproduce so that the fish population does not overgrow and or undersize. And the exess fish that are caught go into a food storage. Now that is what I call a profitable advantage.

Judy Moody

4/28/2014 09:27:24 am

Imagine getting your phone taken away in class, just for searching something or trying to contact a parent? I don't think that's fair. I believe that electronics should be allowed at school. More teachers around BC should encourage this, so the students can learn better and they will most likely focus more. You can save paper, contact people, and work won't be lost.

To begin with, if you use a device you save paper:
-Examples
-Quotes
-Comments
Concluding sentence: So, you can use google drive to use less paper. In addition to this, you will be able to find everything easier by using a device.

Next your work won't be lost as easily:
-Statistics
-Example
-Comments
Concluding sentence: As I have shown, you will be able to find your work effeciently, as we'll as contacting someone.

Finally, you can contact someone very easily:
-Example
-Comments
-Quotes
Concluding sentence: Lastly, contacting someone would be much easier and quicker with a cellphone in class.

In conclusion, If all students were allowed to bring phones and devices to school, there wouldn't be lost assignments, you wouldn't waste as much paper, and kids could contact family/people from school. I believe children should be able to have fun memories from school, instead of getting phones taken away,

Pancake

4/28/2014 02:46:32 pm

@Judy Moody
Maybe try using different transition words that are not very simple.

ATV BOY

4/28/2014 10:04:26 am

Do you get tired of people Skating and scooting on the sidewalk? Well I think that there should be more skate parks around. Firstly, I think that because then we will not need to put up these little bumps on benches along the road to prevent riders from grinding them. Secondly, If we had more skate parks there would be less riders on the street at a risk of getting hit by a car or hitting someone walking down the road. Also, According to http://www.skatepark.org/park-development/advocacy/2011/01/30-reasons/ there are 42 people that have died just from riding on the road. Thirdly, If there were more skate parks around a lot of people and tourists would be able to go look at the riders doing a lot of crazy tricks.
#1 Not wrecking street property along with putting prevention bumps on benches and curbs for skaters because they grind them.
#2 Less riders on the street to put there lives at risk of getting hit by a car.
#3 It will attract many people walking by to see teens doing cool tricks that amaze them.
Conclusion: In conclusion, people might think that having a skate park is a bad thing because of people smoking it up around there. You need to think about the good things such as not ruining property, less injuries by pedestrians on the street and lastly, tourist and walkers entertainment. So what do you think should happen?

ATV BOY

4/28/2014 10:04:57 am

Sorry It is not spaced out.

V.2KX

4/28/2014 10:08:17 am

@ATV BOY - Good paragraph, although you should add a concluding sentence for each paragraph.

Butterflypuppy

4/28/2014 10:05:20 am

People shouldn't smoke…

Do you like it when people smoke and have bad breath? Well, I don't. If you ever smoke, bad things that could happen to you. You can get different types of cancer, you could spend to much money that should be used for more important things, It can also cause you to have yellow teeth. Do you really want that to happen to you?
#1.)First of all, Smoking will cause cancer such as lung cancer.
#2.)Secondly, Smoking will cause yellow teeth and bad breath.
#3.)Last of all, Buying packs of smokes will take you money away that should be spent on food for your houses.
In conclusion I things people shouldn't smoke, Also bad things can happen to you Like you could get cancer, you could spend to much money on buying them and It can also cause you to have yellow teeth. Do you want to happen to you? Or someone you love?

Greg Heffley

4/28/2014 10:16:12 am

Middle school is the transition from child to teen. I believe surrey should have middle schools. I believe this because we need a transition to high school, we could get more choice and smaller age gaps. I believe this because we are at one school for to long and in with little kids. And we also are going from really strict rules to laid back rules. Middle school will give us a taste of high school without the stress. I believe we should have middle schools and when Surrey is able to they should build them.
A) to begin with I would like to talk about how middle school provides a transition to high school.
A1) Example
A2) Quote
A3) With a transition to high school it means we should have more choice like the highschoolers.
B) secondly I am going to talk about how it gives us more choice and opportunity
B1) Statistic
B2) Examples
B3) With more choice comes more responsibility that younger kids can't handle. It will reduce the age gaps.
C) Lastly I am going to talk about how it will reduce the age gap
C1) Stats
C2) Quotes
C3) reducing the age gaps is better for everyone. We don't have to be in with 5 year olds.
In conclusion, I think surrey should have middle school. It gives us a chance to get prepared for high school, stops thr little kids and big kids from getting mixed into one school, and gives us more freedom and opportunity. That is my opinion, what's your?

Loki

4/28/2014 10:18:54 am

It's good and organized but I think you need to separate you conclusion and c3)

Greg Heffley

4/29/2014 01:00:38 am

*REVISED*
Middle school is the transition from child to teen. I believe surrey should have middle schools. I believe this because we need a transition to high school, we could get more choice and smaller age gaps. I believe this because we are at one school for to long and in with little kids. And we also are going from really strict rules to laid back rules. Middle school will give us a taste of high school without the stress. I believe we should have middle schools and when Surrey is able to they should build them.
A) to begin with I would like to talk about how middle school provides a transition to high school.
A1) Example
A2) Quote
A3) With a transition to high school it means we should have more choice like the highschoolers.
B) secondly I am going to talk about how it gives us more choice and opportunity
B1) Statistic
B2) Examples
B3) With more choice comes more responsibility that younger kids can't handle. It will reduce the age gaps.
C) Lastly I am going to talk about how it will reduce the age gap
C1) Stats
C2) Quotes
C3) reducing the age gaps is better for everyone. We don't have to be in with 5 year olds.

In conclusion, I think surrey should have middle school. It gives us a chance to get prepared for high school, stops thr little kids and big kids from getting mixed into one school, and gives us more freedom and opportunity. That is my opinion, what's your?

Loki

4/28/2014 10:17:21 am

"Chimpanzees are going insane duo to beeing in captivity!" That is not a lie that is true. According to the Discovery Chanel they have started to harm them selfs. That is why I wish Zoos should be illegal, I know some people think there good but this is opinion and I can back it up like how they are taken out of the wild and have bad health but not only that but their are many was to help out I will tell who to trust and how to donate
To introduce my topic, animals are being taken from the wild and put in cages that are a minuscule amount compared to the wild. Quote example
In addition, they have bad health from the cages being small and not getting treated right and even depression effects their health. Quote statistic
To end of, their are ways to help like the wwf or other wild life preserves or you could take part in the C.N. Tower climb. Example statistic.
So know that my eassay I will just recap on my points the animals have been ripped from their natural habitat and put in small cages, they have bad health from been ing in small cages, and also their are ways you can help like donating to the wwf. Well guess that's all for know I hope you understand my opinion and take action!

SAM

4/28/2014 10:29:58 am

I noticed a few spelling mistakes and sentences that should be worded differently to make more sense. And also the word "Zoos" should not be capitalized. So go through your essay again and change a few things.

Spongebob

4/28/2014 10:24:29 am

Intro: Carey, how do you plan on losing more weight? Are you and your husband fighting? Imagine having these questions asked on a daily basis, well that's a celeberties life. They should be given more privacy, the reasons? False rumors, innapropriate and unfair pictures, and it violates privacy.

Body 1: To lead off, one reason celeberties should have more privacy is " False Rumors". Quote, Statistic
Lots of the stuff they say is unfair aswel, also pictures. That leads to my next topic.

Body 2: In addition to False Rumors, there is alot of times Inappropriate and Unfair Pictures Quote, Example
Not only are those pictures unfair and inappropriate, they also violate privacy. My next topic explains.

Body 3: To finish, something else that happens in Violation of Privacy Statistic, Example

Conclude: In conclusion, the reasons celebrities need more privacy are it Violates Privacy, there are False Rumore, and Incorrect Rumors. So celebrities definently deserve more privacy, do you think differently?

V.2KX

4/28/2014 12:59:58 pm

@pongebob - "To lead off" sounds too much like a baseball term, maybe you could use "to start off."

Spongebob

4/28/2014 02:27:54 pm

~Revised~

Intro: Carey, how do you plan on losing more weight? Are you and your husband fighting? Imagine having these questions asked on a daily basis, well that's a celeberties life. They should be given more privacy, the reasons? False rumors, innapropriate and unfair pictures, and it violates privacy.

Body 1: To start off, one reason celeberties should have more privacy is " False Rumors". Quote, Statistic
Lots of the stuff they say is unfair aswel, also pictures. That leads to my next topic.

Body 2: In addition to False Rumors, there is alot of times Inappropriate and Unfair Pictures Quote, Example
Not only are those pictures unfair and inappropriate, they also violate privacy. My next topic explains.

Body 3: To finish, something else that happens in Violation of Privacy Statistic, Example

Conclude: In conclusion, the reasons celebrities need more privacy are it Violates Privacy, there are False Rumore, and Incorrect Rumors. So celebrities definently deserve more privacy, do you think differently?

SAM

4/28/2014 10:26:57 am

Introductory Paragraph:
"Darn! What if I don't a good mark on my test tomorrow! I am just so worried about my mark that I can't even study!" Has this ever happened to you? Because a lot of students have trouble with this issue... Letter grades. Letter grades are only an estimate of what you know accordingly to four marks A, B, C and D. Most students don't actually know a subject as good or as little as their letter grades will show most of the time, and students will think of letter grades as a bad thing and will be so stressed that they cannot study and end up getting bad marks. Letter grades will not always show anything, because you could get an A on most of your work and do all your homework and when you test comes along and BOOM! You get a C...
Topic sentence:
1.) first, letter grades are just a wide summary of what you know and not down to the point to show what you may know or not know.
2.) It is said by 100% of the teachers in my school are saying that we may no longer have letter grades by the end of the year on our report card at all. Ben Stein had said "Screaming at children over their grades, especially to the point of the child's tears, is child abuse, pure and simple. It's not funny and it's not good parenting. It is a crushing, scarring, disastrous experience for the child. It isn't the least bit funny." This is very true because lots of parents get mad at their children because of bad grades. But if we would have percentages and other things to show our learning, those parents who are uptight about thee I child's grades, they can see what they need to improve and see what they actually know.
3.) Letter grades are bad because when students study, they are not focusing on their work and learning. They are focusing and stressing about their grades. Research: According to http://www.debate.org/opinions/should-letter-grades-be-eliminated, 52% of people agree to this statement.
Concluding Sentence:
And to conclude my essay, I really hope that they can and will eliminate letter grades and use something more practical and precise to see what you know and or don't know. I also hope I have convinced you that letter grades are bad and should be eliminated.

princesa peach

4/28/2014 10:43:30 am

booty shorts we have all seen them but why do kids wear them in the first place. Who know's why all I know is that there inappropriate, That is why I feel that all kinds of schools should have uniforms. I feel this because kids are wearing inappropriate clothes, uniforms are badges of pride, it is easier to get ready in the morning.

To begin, uniforms prevent students from wearing inappropiate clothing. Examples and statistics
Another is, they are a badge of pride for your school. Quotes and statistics.
Last, it is easier to get dressed in the morning. Research and quote.
So now you know why I feel we should have uniforms, because they prevent kids wearing inappropriate clothing, a uniform in a badge of pride, it is easier to gets ready in the morning. So why do you think we should or shouldn't have uniforms.

cloud barston

4/28/2014 11:05:49 am

could anybody tell me if you need to include a quote, research, and a statistic or just one of them?

princesa peach

4/28/2014 12:12:00 pm

You needs to add two of them not all three.

Icestone

4/28/2014 11:13:10 am

What can you do to gain working experience? What can you do to help homeless people live? What can you do to help obesity and video game addiction statistics go down? All three of these things can be solved by volunteer work. I think that kids should be required an amount of volunteer hours to graduate Elementary School.

To begin, I believe that volunteer work can give kids working experience. EXAMPLE QUOTE

According to CBC.ca, homeless shelters are lacking volunteer workers. With my new law in place, so many shelters and other places will thrive the way they should because of new volunteers. To illustrate, imagine you are a homeless person. You have made bad decisions in life, and regardless, no one deserves to sit in the cold without warmth or food. Homeless shelters need help. STATISTIC

As my last point, I think that kids have been getting bored in their houses, and will get addicted to video games and do other things like that. Volunteer work can give them something to do. Digitaltrends.com states that a surprising 91% of all kids play video games. It seems like kids don’t do anything that our ancestors used to do. Just like And Lee once said, “Kids don’t even read comic books anymore. They’ve got more important things to do, like play video games.” I hope you are convinced the way I am!

I truly believe that this could help kids get a head start on work, can help shelters and other places thrive, and can make our country less obese and lazy. I think every kid should volunteer to graduate. So what are you waiting for?

cloud barston

4/28/2014 11:39:20 am

Letter grades vs. Feedback

Why would we change from letter grades to just having a teacher give us written feedback in our report cards? Why would this be a better way to let us students know how we are doing in school? well, this is why. I think that providing feedback helps me better understand how I am doing rather than just a letter grade or percent. according to Chris Crouch at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/chris-crouch/grades-do-more-harm-than-_b_4190907.html, “grades do more harm than good”

When I see a number on a test score, I look for where I went wrong. When I read feedback it gives me a better idea of what I did know and what I need to work on. I feel this is a better system.

I understand that it might be hard to use the feedback system to get into schools after high school because they all seem to want to know what percent you got because you are competing with so many other students for limited spots.

I see the letter grade percent system as a competitive system and in elementary school who do we have to compete against? I am not really competing with the other students in the classroom. Really all I’m doing is trying to learn something, so why make me feel like I’m not first or last

To conclude, I believe that feedback is a better system for report cards than letter grades in elementary school because we are all learning, not competing.

Cookielover

4/28/2014 11:52:58 am

@ Mr. Hong since I was not there today I don't get the blog post so are we suppost to conbine are intro paragraph with are body one paragraph also I was not there to make my body one paragraph so I can't do the blog.

Mr. Hong link

4/28/2014 11:55:34 am

@ Cookielover - You can basically write your topic sentences and concluding sentences for your body paragraphs. Also, simply choose the 2 types of support you will add in each body paragraph. In other words: examples, quotes, statistics, or other research. Remember, you must mix it up. Try not to use the same 2 in each body paragraph.

Fish sticks

4/28/2014 12:33:08 pm

Six classes filled with 28 kids each; I sure appreciate all of them... but what I want to know is where are the other kids? There should be two more classes filled with kids our age here at Hillcrest. Take a look around these are only a few of the friends you should have, the rest of them were murdered. I think abortions should be illegal because it is murder, it endangers the women who have had an abortion, and there are other options.

(it is murder) statistics, example

(Women are endangered) statistics, examples

(There are other options) examples quotes.

Now you know why I think abortions should be illegal because it is murder, it endangers the women, and there are other options. My question for you is ..... how would you like to be murdered before you even got a chance to live?

george

4/28/2014 01:22:21 pm

Teddy bear

4/28/2014 01:24:54 pm

Imagine that you're in small cage, and someone sprays or gives you a strange medicine, and spray strange things in your eyes, you're dying painfully. This is what happens to 274,000 animals every day with animal testing. Would you feel happy? No, it would be so much pain. Animal testing should be banned, because animals can get hurt, wastes lots of money, and it is not safe for people.
Firstly, the majority of animals can hurt from animal testing. Many animals are dying from animal testing.
Secondly, animal testing waste lots of money.
Last but not least, people can hurt from animal testing.
To conclude, I have shown you in this speech that animals are just like humans and families. Animal testing split up animal`s families and animal testing cost lots of money, also all of animal testing are not safe. Because of these reasons I have told you today, animal testing should be banned.

Gooner

4/28/2014 02:07:56 pm

INTRO PARAGRAPH
"Oh hey Devin did you see that boy over there, he is so fat." Do you really want to be the one hearing this? Do you want to be the one that people are calling ugly, fat, disgusting, weird and other stuff? I don't think so. I think that in elementary school and high school teasing and making fun of other people has become too common. This is wrong because kids feel left out, try too hard to fit in, and can be ostracized.

(Kids feel left out) Research, Statistics

(Kids try too hard to fit in) Quote

(Kids can be ostracized) Satistics, Quote

CONCLUSION PARAGRAPH
In conclusion I think that if all this teasing dies down and people stop doing that, we will have a really awesome environment for kids to live in without having to try to hard to fit in. Or feel left out or ostracized. Please try and make your community a better place by being nice to people and to encourage your kids to do that to.

Oracle

4/28/2014 02:25:49 pm

Smoking is very bad for your health! Three reasons why is it can cause Lung cancer, you could get addicted, and it can cause you to die. Cancer researcher Dr. Monoculos found out that 80% of people worldwide had been smoking and died, and that little cigarette had caused their lives at stake.
To illustrate, lung cancer only happens when you had absorbed a bad chemical that damages your lungs, the chemical can also spread around your body, poisoning you. The Nicotine is the part that makes you addicted, it is a chemical that makes you addicted to smoking. It’s almost like a chemical that sends signal waves to your brain that tells you to keep smoking on and on. Finally, the reason why it may cause death is because of lung cancer, that most people around the world hadn’t been able to survive it due to the poisoning. The more you smoke, the more worse it grows.
To conclude, if we stop smoking, it could decrease the risks of dying young and getting lung cancer.

Yogi Bear

4/28/2014 02:30:12 pm

Can you imagine a world of obese people that can barely walk? I know I can't. That is why I am saying that kids should spend at least 60 minutes a day playing outside or being active. Kids nowadays spend too much time on electronics, live sedentary lifestyles, and always feeling somewhat depressed.

To begin with, kids spend too much time on electronics.

Example

Statistics

Secondly, kids live sedentary lifestyles and it leads to obesity.

Example

Quote

Last but not least, kids can start to feel kind of depressed if they are becoming overweight.

Statistics

Quotes

To sum it all up, I think kids should get at least 60 minutes of physical activity everyday. I think this because kids spend too much time on electronics, not enough exercise leads to obesity, and exercise makes you happy. About how much time do you spend being active in a day?

Pancake

4/28/2014 02:43:33 pm

Intro:Mmmmmmm! The wonderful taste of fresh fruit and veggies! You probably think that washing or buying organic fruit and veggies means that it is safe to eat. You are very Wrong! This is because of this terrible thing called pesticides. I strongly believe that pesticides should be banned because they harm wildlife, they can make us sick, and they pollute.

.First of all, pesticides should be banned because it harms other wildlife.
.Example
.Quote
.By harming wildlife it harms our food which can make us very sick.

.Secondly, pesticides should be banned because it makes us sick.
.Statistics
.Example
. Pesticides make us sick but they also make the evivroment sick by polluting it.

.Lastly, pesticides should be banned because it pollutes the environment.
.Statistics
.Quote

Juliette

4/28/2014 04:05:03 pm

Intro: our top five finalists for the little miss America category.... Imagine spending thousands of dollars on dresses, costumes, makeup artists, flippers, extensions, spray tans and of course special teachers to make routines to WOW the judges with. I think child Beaty pageants should be banned. Child bueaty pageants should be banned because they make a child think that their looks are more important then their personalities, it shows them an unrealistic body image and it deprives them of their innocence at a young age.
Body1: "it's what's on the inside that counts" child beauty pageants trick a child into thinking that their looks are more important then their personalities.
Body2: diets, makeup, lessons on manners, and spray tans are just some of the traumatic experiences a young girl can go through before even competing against other contestants. Child bueaty pageants show young girls an unrealistic body image.
Body3: "Teddy bears, protecting children from monsters hiding under the bed, since 1902" beauty pageants can deprive a young child of their innocence. Imagine seeing a four year old wearing a mature costume with false eyelashes teeth and of course a spray tan.
Conclusion: in conclusion I think that child bueaty pageants should be banned because they make children think that looks are more important, they create an unrealistic image for young girls to look up to and they can make a child become deprived of their innocence at a young age.

Condie

4/28/2014 11:50:30 pm

Well, I don't have all of those paragraphs since I was away and haven't had much time to work on it, but I have my intro/topic sentence done!

Male or Female? The two binary genders lay before a young student out on plaques. What bathroom do they use? Many trans, non-binary, genderfluid and genderqueer teens, adults and children struggle with this question everyday, do they enter the bathroom which they were assigned at birth, making them feel trapped as someone they are not, or the bathroom they do, but being yelled and made fun of because "They aren't real boys/girls!". We have something that can fix this issue, something which I root for. Gender neutral bathrooms.

Gaia

4/29/2014 01:09:28 am

#1
To begin, it is one of their rights to be bales to do what they want with their body (i.e allowed to get earrings or tattoos and being able to wear the things they/you like)
-example
-quotes
#2
Another important detail is that it is their body not yours!
Example
Stat/research
#3
finally perhaps the most important people make mistakes we are imperfect beings.

I keep changing my mind on which ones to use so I don't know yet but I will figure it out while writing it

Bobby Orr

4/29/2014 01:25:02 am

@mr hong sorry I did not have really anytime to write this on my google drive but I'm pretty sure I have a copy on paper.

Ichigo

4/29/2014 01:27:04 am

Intro: Can you imagine what it would be like to be forced out of your natural habitat to be tested on. Sadly, that's what scientist are doing today. Animal testing is abusive, we don't need another eyeliner, soap, food or drug, and most importantly animals have their own rights

1.)To begin with, it's completely abusive to the animals.
C1.) not only is it abusive, but why do we more useless inventions like an eyeliner.
Examples
Research
2.) We don't need another food, eyeliner, soap or drug, we have enough.
C2.) Freedom is great for people, but what about animals?
Examples
Quotes
3.) Not only do humans have right, but animals have their own rights to
Examples
Statistics or research

Conclusion: To conclude, animal testing is and no matter what will always be abusive. Think to yourself, do we really need some new eyeliner, food or some unnecessary drug. We may have are own rights in Canada, but why don't animals.

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