THURSDAY: PEER/SELF ASSESSMENTS

5/8/2014

"Some of us are learners in disguise!" ~Jayden

Today, some of the students participated as leaders in the Fit Kids program. We applaud them for all their handwork and dedication in keeping everyone at Hillcrest physically active!

Many students started giving each other peer feedback on their persuasive essays according to the criteria and checklist. Tomorrow they will do their self-assessments and final edits/revisions before handing in their essays. It has been amazing watching all of your essays improve drastically. Feedback is a key component of your learning and acting on that feedback results in better quality work.

1.) LA:

Persuasive essays should be finished at home so you can complete your peer assessments in class tomorrow.
You will complete your peer/self assessments tomorrow and make your final edit/revisions before handing them in.

2.) SOCIALS:

Your research should be nearly completed (5 sections)
Get as much done for tomorrow as possible. Keep track of your sources for each section.

3.) MATH 6: Any assigned work.
MATH 7: Pg 182 - 183 Number 2, 3, 4, 7, 8, 11, and 13.

3.) POST A RESPONSE:

The majority of you have worked on your essays over the last few weeks and have seen the improvements that you have made. For example, some of you started off with one long paragraph and now have a properly structured 5 paragraph essay.
Explain how the feedback you received help you improve your essays and indicate at least 3 specific areas of your essay that you improved in and how you did that.
For example: structure, grammar, supporting sentences, examples, research, topic sentences, introduction, conclusion, transitions, etc.
Don't forget to explain specifically how you improved in each area.

VIDEO LINKS:

Long Jump Technique

Jumper girl

5/8/2014 06:42:00 am

First

V.2KX

5/8/2014 10:14:57 am

@Mr. Hong - I can't finish my essay today because I never got to read the book Mrs. Jensen had.

Mr. Hong

5/8/2014 12:11:55 pm

@V2000 - Simply research online.

Gamer

5/8/2014 06:42:05 am

Frist

Spongebo

5/8/2014 06:42:11 am

Second

Oracle

5/8/2014 06:42:21 am

First!

Oracle

5/8/2014 06:42:45 am

Third

Gamer

5/8/2014 08:35:14 am

For me Feedback is and grooving on flaws not just using the same words over and over.

Cookielover

5/8/2014 08:42:02 am

Can someone post the things we can do for the socials.

Ichigo

5/8/2014 09:27:42 am

The first thing of feedback that really helped was i kept on repeating the same thing three times. Mr. Lewis gave me this suggestion . When I changed it, it seemed a lot better and flowed better. The second piece of advice was from a classmate. He told me that I needed to add some transition words to start of my paragraphs. When I did that, it made it seem more detailed rather than just being so simple. Lastly, my topic was on animal testing should be banned. I didn't have any statistics for some reasons. When doing something on this, you need to know how it's doing, what has changed, and stats.

Theoverseeker link

5/8/2014 10:36:29 am

A good piece of feedback I received from mr.hong was he reminded me to keep my body paragraphs in order the way I mentioned them in my intro paragraph. And I took my own feedback after rereading my third body paragraph to add more capitals and comma's in my sentences throughout the paragraph.

Teddy bear

5/8/2014 11:27:30 am

The feedback I got is, put more transition words in my essay, also put question in your conclusion that can make people think about my topic .

ATV BOY

5/8/2014 11:28:19 am

Feedback helped me when I did not have my punctuation right someone told me and a little bit of my grammar was not where it should have been. The next thing that helped me was using different transition words other than firstly, secondly and thirdly. The final thing that helped me was I had a example when I was introducing my topic in my body paragraphs.

Spongebob

5/8/2014 12:00:42 pm

The feedback I got was spelling, grammar, and to use better transitions. The best was transitions. I was told that I should have better flowing transitions so it would flow better. Instead if using basic transitions, I used more advanced ones so it was more interesting.

V.2KX

5/8/2014 12:21:36 pm

The best feedback I got was to search about "Maple Ridge schools remove letter grades." It gave me a lot of info why they are removing the grades and it helped me further my essay's contents.

SAM

5/8/2014 12:30:36 pm

The feedback I had got was great, it improved my work well after I had finished editing and revising my persuasive essay making it easier to understand and made more sense and being structured better.

cloud barston

5/8/2014 01:16:00 pm

The feedback I got from Mr. Hong was: use multiple paragraphs, add a good clincher, make a third point for my body paragraph, and Include the three points In my conclusion paragraph. this feedback helped me a lot.

Cookielover

5/8/2014 01:32:36 pm

The feedback I got from oracle was that my hook was a little weird and awkward so I fixed it and gave back to oracle and he thought it was much better.

Gooner

5/8/2014 01:57:05 pm

I got feedback from Mr. Hong and I think that it made my essay better so I could get a better grade. He helped me with the into sentence and making my paragraphs different from each other.

Gaia

5/8/2014 02:15:25 pm

Some really helpful feedback was when me.hing said my thesis was not clear, and when Sarah pointed out that I forgot a part of a sentance and so it made no sence. Another helpful piece of feedback was from Mr.hong and was how my opinion on the topic was not clear.

Judy Moody

5/8/2014 02:19:31 pm

Mr.hong gave me some good feedback, and told me to add more supporting sentences and make my thesis point more clear, in the introductory sentence.

Pancake

5/8/2014 02:26:39 pm

Some feedback I got was to make my conclusion paragraph flow better and Mr.Hong gave me the feedback.

Oracle

5/8/2014 02:26:39 pm

Some feedback Icestone gave me was to restate my thesis since it wasn't really clear, an Cookielover said it had to be 5 paragraph and I forgot to split it up. So I fixed my problems and tried to find more mistakes and errors.

SkaterBoi

5/8/2014 02:50:05 pm

I now know that I need more details in my paragraphs and need to take away some words from the feedback I got it really improved my learning when there was things that I didn't know about that I had to do which made me get better ideas making an essay.

Greg Heffley

5/9/2014 12:17:44 am

The feedback I received helped me a lot. I made my thesis statement more visible so you can tell what my three points are. I have made my second body paragraphs conclusion flow better, and I have made a better stat. For my third body paragraph.

loki

5/9/2014 12:54:40 am

One thing that helped me was Mr. Hong told me that my three points had too much deatail so I shortened . Also he told me that my first paragragh was to conveesationall and so I made a bit mor formal. Lastly one of my peers help me by pointing out that I put peripds in the wrong place and so then I fixed that.

Bobby Orr

5/9/2014 01:04:25 am

I thought my essay was good at the start but then I got feedback. It really helped because I had mistakes that I couldn't see but my peer or mr hong helped find the errors. Now I think my essay is a well structured essay.

princesa

5/9/2014 01:23:54 am

My first piece of feedback was for my hook I got good feedback for it and made it better.
my second one was for my body paragraphs for spelling and grammar and sentence structure.
my last one was for my conclusion just saying the topic sentence is a different way.

Yogi Bear

5/9/2014 01:29:03 am

At the start, I had a good essay but then I got feedback from Mr.Hong and it made my essay even better. The things that I got feedback on were research, quotes, and vocabulary. The way he helped me with research was he told me that I should add some statistics with percentages instead of just researching facts. He helped me with my quote because I forgot to say who Tom Vilsack was. For my vocabulary, Mr.Hong had told me that I used the word 'kids' to much. So then I replaced most of the 'kids' and put in youths, children, or students.

Fish sticks

5/9/2014 01:39:46 am

The first piece of feedback was that I needed to take out some words that were unesasary. This was helpful because my introduction paragraph was really long and wordy and t didn't need all of that.

The second bit helped me with finding reliable sources for my information. For a while I was use yahoo answers and sites like that but when someone told me that the would not believe the information if it is not reliable.

My third was also kind of like this because for my numbers and information I didn't say who said this or where this information came from.

jumpergirl

5/9/2014 03:37:30 am

I Was told i need to work on my structure and make sure the paragraph makes sence and not all wishy washy, another peice of feedback was with my grammer, i had a lot of capital problems and i need help with putting coma's in.

P.S i know i posted late...

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THURSDAY: PEER/SELF ASSESSMENTS

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