WEDNESDAY: MOSAIC MIRRORS

4/23/2014

Starting our mosaic mirrors!

The students learned more about the importance of feedback in the learning process today. The students wrote their first drafts of their introductory paragraphs for their persuasive essays and acted on the feedback they received for their next draft(s). Many of them had 'AHA" moments when they realized they had put topic sentences in their introductory paragraphs.

The students broke their tiles and started working on their mosaic designs for their mirrors. We are all looking forward to seeing everybody's final projects within the next week.

1.) LANGUAGE ARTS:

Complete editing and revising your introductory paragraph directly on yesterday's post. Do this according to everything you learned in class today and the feedback you all received.

2.) ART: Bring your coloured tiles, hammer, an old towel, and an old shirt.

3.) MATH 6: Any assigned work.
MATH 7: 4.3 of your textbook. Post any questions you have here.

4.) SOCIALS: Mesopotamia quiz tomorrow based on the booklet and the learning intentions.

5.) POST A RESPONSE:

After completely editing and revising your introductory paragraph, have an older sibling or parent proofread it and give you some feedback. Make the necessary changes.
Then, respond to your most recent revision and explain what changed from your first draft compared to your last draft.
Be sure to explain at least 3 different things you changed to improve the flow and structure of your introductory paragraph.
Then, copy and paste your most recent draft of your introductory paragraph here. (on today's blog post)
Give feedback on the 'STRUCTURE' of at least one other person's introductory paragraph.

VIDEO LINKS:

Another idea - Mosaic Tile Art

You can see the process that we will be using for our mosaic mirrors. However, we will not be
painting our tiles. You might want to try doing this at home!

Pancake

4/23/2014 08:40:43 am

First!

V.2KX

4/23/2014 08:43:23 am

Sedon!

princesa

4/23/2014 08:45:48 am

@V.2KX
did you mean second???

V.2KX

4/23/2014 09:03:23 am

@princesa - Yes thanks

princesa

4/23/2014 08:45:08 am

princesa

4/23/2014 09:03:17 am

booty shorts we have all seen them but why do kids wear them in the first place. Who know's why all I know is that there inappropriate, That is why I feel that all kinds of schools should have uniforms. I feel this because kids are wearing inappropriate clothes, uniforms are badges of pride, it is easier to get ready in the morning.

First I changed the hook so it was better. Then I got rid of the ABC's witch I added. Then I changed the sentience in be tween the hook and topic sentience.

Yogi Bear

4/23/2014 11:01:19 am

@Princesa- What do you mean by uniforms are badges of pride?

SAM

4/23/2014 02:30:41 pm

You have a few spelling errors and capitals that need to be fixed.

V.2KX

4/23/2014 09:23:33 am

Oh no! What if I get a C tomorrow on my report card?! My parents would kill me! I think that schools should remove letter grades. First of all, school was created for us to learn, not to rank us and the school grades barely mean anything, just if you did good or bad. Letter grades also give many students stress that builds up anger.
Read on to learn why we should remove school grades.

Revisions:

A) I got feedback from Spongebob telling me that I need to state my opinion so I did.
B) I also made it simpler and not going into detail.
C) I put in a connecting sentence to my first paragraph.

Cookielover

4/23/2014 09:40:27 am

Hay look at those tuna, would you like a animal on the edge of extinction, a toxic fish or one that should not be eaten and you get caught in this net full of tuna. Well then lets ban net fishing in the ocean, species will die, people will die from eating toxic fish and fish that should not be eaten will be.

A) Mr. Hong told me not to make it super long and detailed.
B) Gooner gave me feedback on my first one on how it did not make sense and I changed that.
C) Fixed grammer and used the givens.

ATV BOY

4/23/2014 09:46:18 am

Do you get tired of people Skating and scooting on the sidewalk? Well I think that there should be more skate parks around. Firstly, I think that because then we will not need to put up these little bumps on benches along the road to prevent riders from grinding them. Secondly, If we had more skate parks there would be less riders on the street at a risk of getting hit by a car or hitting someone walking down the road. Thirdly, If there were more skate parks around a lot of people and tourists would be able to go look at the riders doing a lot of crazy tricks.

1) Mr Hongs Feedback for when he said list all 3 points.
2) Adding transition words.
3) Better punctuation.

Oracle

4/23/2014 03:09:52 pm

I agree on your revised post and I think the structure was well done. One thing Mr. Hong said though was to not add firstly, secondly, and thirdly.

Gaia

4/23/2014 10:07:06 am

I cannot (yet) do the do the post a response because i could not yesterday and I don't have a first draft, and do not yet have all three points and did not bring my umbrella worksheet because I did not for see ,myself needing it (and was wrong)
sorry for not being able to but I will try to make a introduction today,post it and then revise it ans post that pointing out the differences

V.2KX

4/23/2014 10:50:51 am

@Gaia - You don't really need the umbrella worksheet, it just says opinion, reasons, and details.

Yogi Bear

4/23/2014 10:45:15 am

Can you imagine a world of obese people that can barely walk? I know I can't. That is why I am saying that kids should spend at least 60 minutes a day playing outside or being active. Kids nowadays spend too much time on electronics, live sedentary lifestyles, and always feeling somewhat depressed.

Yogi Bear

4/23/2014 11:05:40 am

I had my reasons in three different sentences so I changed that to make it only one sentence with all the reasons. I also added the adjective sedentary which means being somewhat inactive. I also changed some of the punctuation.

Judy Moody

4/23/2014 11:20:20 am

Imagine getting your phone taken away in class, just for searching something or trying to contact a parent? I don't think that's fair. I believe that electronics should be allowed at school. More teachers around BC should encourage this, so the students can learn better and they will most likely focus more. You can save paper, contact people, and work won't be lost.

Judy moody

4/23/2014 11:21:36 am

I changed the hook so it flowed more, I rearranged the order of the 3rd sentence. I also included my opinion.

Pancake

4/23/2014 11:27:08 am

Mmmmmmm! The wonderful taste of fresh fruit and veggies! You probably think that washing or buying organic fruit and veggies means that it is safe to eat. You are very Wrong! This is because of this terrible thing called pesticides. I strongly believe that pesticides should be banned because they harm wildlife, they can make us sick, and they pollute.
1.) V.2KX told me to make my hook more intersting.
2.) Mr.Hong told me to get rid of "for the following reasons" and "I will explain iIn more detail."
3) Ms.Z (I'm say Ms.Z because I don't know how ti spell her name.) told me to use powerful words like that.

Judy Moody

4/23/2014 11:34:43 am

I like your hook! Although maybe at the end, you could change it to "..can make us sick, and pollut the environment" instead of just pollute:)

Pancake

4/23/2014 01:04:39 pm

@Judy Moody
Thank you for the feedback I will make sure to add that in!

Icestone

4/23/2014 12:48:11 pm

@ Pancake - I really like your paragraph, and I think the things that you changed really made a difference! Just remember that 'Wrong' doesn't have to be capitalized.

Pancake

4/23/2014 01:03:37 pm

@Icestone
Thank you I just saw that!

Greg Heffley

4/23/2014 11:29:28 am

Middle school is the transition from child to teen. I believe surrey should have middle schools. I believe this because we need a transition to high school, we could get more choice and smaller age gaps. I believe this because we are at one school for to long and in with little kids. And we also are going from really strict rules to laid back rules. Middle school will give us a taste of high school without the stress. I believe we should have middle schools and when Surrey is able to they should build them.

Greg Heffley

4/23/2014 11:32:06 am

I posted the three things I've changed on Tuesdays post.

Icestone

4/23/2014 12:45:30 pm

I have some questions for you. What can you do to gain working experience? What can you do to help homeless people live? What can you do to help obesity and video game addiction statistics go down? All three of these things can be solved by one thing, and I believe that thing is volunteer work. I think that kids should be required an amount of volunteer hours to graduate Elementary School.

Things I Changed:
1.) I created a more interesting hook.

@ Mr. Hong - This is all I can think of because this is all the suggestions people told me to do.

SkaterBoi

4/23/2014 12:49:58 pm

Don't you love when you are healthy and happy well I think kids should get healthier so your going to need a goal to make that happen. For example you can do running for exercise, you can also eat healthy like go on a diet, and you can sleep early because you need to sleep 10 hours a day to have more energy when you wake up. Being healthy can make you happier in life because you just feel glad for your self to be fit and healthy. Remember your the boss of yourself

Katness (Mrs.Van's Class)

4/23/2014 02:02:57 pm

I dont understand #6,8,10,and 11.

cloud barston

4/23/2014 02:07:27 pm

@Mr Hong, the graphic organizer was not assigned for homework so I did not bring it home. I also didn't start the support and examples part, so I can't really do the post.

Spongebob

4/23/2014 02:10:19 pm

Hey Carey, how are you going to work off the weight you've gained? When will you come out with a new song? Imaging having these questions asked every day, that would be crazy. That's a celebrities life, that's why I think paparazzi need to lay off a bit because they have incorrect rumours, inappropriate and unfair pictures, and it violates privacy.

What I changed was I changed the length and detail, I put less detail and made it shorter. Second I fixed the last sentence with the colon and quotations. Lastly I changed the words so that everything would flow better.

jumpergirl

4/23/2014 02:20:30 pm

@mr.hong
DID YOU FEEL THE EARTH QUAKE, It was a 6.7 on the island and people here said they felt it!

Bobby Orr

4/23/2014 02:24:12 pm

Ding ding the gloves are off we have a scrap! Ladies and gentlemen, he comes with a left then a right then boom a knock and all the players are pumped up. Hockey would not be as entertaining with out being aloud to fight lots of people like fighting like the fans. Another reason fighting should stay is because they know the risk that they are taking when they fight they chose to they were not forced. Lastly, the players want it to stay it is not fair if they want it to stay but they take it out. There are some parts of the games the don't controll

Teddy bear

4/23/2014 02:37:06 pm

Imagine that you're in small cage, and someone sprays or gives you a strange medicine, and spray strange things in your eyes, you're dying painfully. This is what happens to 274,000 animals every day with animal testing. Would you feel happy? No, it would be so much pain. Animal testing should be banned, because animals can get hurt, wastes lots of money, and it is not safe for people.

A) Mr.hong give me feed back that it is better without transition word in your introduction.

SAM

4/23/2014 02:44:28 pm

"Darn! What if I don't a good mark on my test tomorrow! I am just so worried about my mark that I can't even study!" Has this ever happend to you? Because a lot of students have trouble with this issue... Letter grades. Letter grades are only and estimate of what you know accordingly to four marks A, B, C and D. Most students don't actually know a subject as good or as little as their letter grades will show most of the time, and students will think of letter grades as a bad thing and will be so stressed that they cannot study and end up getting bad marks. Letter grades will not always show anything, because you could get an A on most of your work and do all your homework and when you test comes along and BOOM! You get a C...

What I had changed:
I had took my three points and put them in and clearly stated them and changed my hook and a few other errors.

Gooner

4/23/2014 02:45:47 pm

FIRST DRAFT

Oh hey Devin did you see that boy over there he is so fat." Do you really want to be the one hearing this do you want to be the one that people are calling ugly, fat, disgusting, Weird and other stuff? I don't think so. I think that in elementary school and high school teasing and making fun of other people has become to common. This is wrong because kids feel left out, try hard to fit in, and can be ostracized.

SECONED DRAFT
"Oh hey Devin did you see that boy over there, he is so fat." Do you really want to be the one hearing this? Do you want to be the one that people are calling ugly, fat, disgusting, weird and other stuff? I don't think so. I think that in elementary school and high school teasing and making fun of other people has become too common. This is wrong because kids feel left out, try too hard to fit in, and can be ostracized.

Fish sticks

4/23/2014 03:03:30 pm

Six classes filled with 28 kids each; I sure appreciate all of them... but what I want to know is where are the other kids? There should be two more classes filled with kids our age here at Hillcrest. Take a look around these are only a few of the friends you should have, the rest of them were murdered. I think abortions should be illegal because it is murder, it endangers the women who have had an abortion, and there are other options.

I changed the hook, made it less wordy and changed my punctuation a little bit.

Oracle

4/23/2014 03:07:31 pm

*Correction*
The reasons why we need privacy is we have to step out of reality to grab some time to relax and get our minds together. Altough most of the famous people don't get that much privacy due to fans and paparazzi any type of privacy they get they cherish it because they get so little of it.

In my first paragraph I added too much detail and mainly explained one thing and then changed the topic at the end. On my second one I got straight to the point and stayed on the main topic using less wording.

jumpergirl

4/24/2014 12:33:20 am

Ding ding ding ding! Ooh I got a new message! Why should I have an iPad.Well every kid wants an iPad to play with and to spend all their free time on, but really I want it to help with my school work.
IPads can be very beneficial to many kids because it can be more efficient with work at school, work at home and with work on the go.

Loki

4/24/2014 12:48:39 am

First:"Chimpanzees are going mentally insane because of captivity!" That is not a lie acording to discovery Chanel, the chimpanzees are even trying to kill them selfs that is very sad. Hi, do you wanna go to a zoo? Good for you. You like looking at tourchered animals that have been ripped out of their natural envorinment. I think that zoos should be ilegal because firsly they get but in unnatural habitats, bad health but you could always help and I will also talk about how you can.

Last:"Chimpanzees are going insane duo to beeing in captivity!" That is not a lie that is true. According to the Discovery Chanel they have started to harm them selfs. That is why I wish Zoos should be illegal, I know some people think there good but this is opinion and I can back it up like how they are taken out of the wild and have bad health but not only that but their are many was to help out I will tell who to trust and how to donate!

What I changed was my paragraph was more straight to the point and less info and I changed my grammar issues.

Ichigo

4/24/2014 01:21:53 am

I didn't have time to ask my parents to give feedback because there was just no time. I could of done it if someone else gave me feedback.s

Mosaic Envy link

5/28/2014 10:05:23 am

Great to see children learning and creating <a href="http://www.mirrorenvy.com.au/">mosaic arts</a> and decorations. Thanks for sharing.

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WEDNESDAY: MOSAIC MIRRORS

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