WORD STUDY

11/4/2021

Today, students started their word study unit. We started off with a pre-test and the final test will be tomorrow. Typically, pre-tests will be given every Monday morning. Final tests will be every Friday. Students final test evaluations will count towards their overall LA evaluations. Students will typically have one week to complete their word studies. This week's word list relate to their ecosystems unit.

IMPORTANT:
1.) WORD STUDY TEST TOMORROW: Spelling and definitions

LEARNING/PLANNER:
1.) READING/LA:

2.) WORD STUDY:

Science vocabulary final test tomorrow.
Definitions list 1 Definitions list 2

3.) POST A RESPONSE:

LEARNING INTENTION: I can use the words I misspelled on my pretest and some additional words to show my understanding.
SUCCESS CRITERIA:
1.) Write a short story (beginning/middle/end)
2.) WORDS: Must include your misspelled words. If you didn't have many misspelled words, include at least 8 words from the list in the photo links above.
3.) GIVENS: Self-assess for spelling, capitals, grammar, sentence structure, and punctuation.
4.) FEEDBACK: Give one student feedback on their story.
5.) Edit/revise based on your self-assessment and the feedback you receive.

VIDEO LINKS:
The Importance of Learning Words

GEN

11/4/2021 01:16:33 pm

FIRST

Iker

11/4/2021 01:50:56 pm

2nd

Hayden

11/4/2021 01:53:50 pm

3rd

Kai

11/4/2021 02:10:13 pm

Melossa

11/4/2021 02:19:08 pm

5th

Melissa

11/4/2021 02:39:32 pm

I meant melissa**

Angela

11/4/2021 02:24:40 pm

6th

Beth

11/4/2021 02:36:55 pm

7th

Bebe

11/4/2021 03:53:45 pm

8th

Dylan

11/4/2021 04:25:45 pm

One regular morning, young Antonio the ant woke up with a grin. It was the last day of school. After this, he and his friends would be free for the summer! He got ready, had some breakfast, and went to go pick up his friends to go to school. Soon enough, Antonio and his three friends were standing before their school, Amazon Forest Elementary for Ants.
Because it was Antonio's last day of school, his politics teacher decided to take the class out to explore their habitat.
While they were outside, Antonio became distracted and strayed from the group. He didn't notice how far he had gone until he came face to face with a much larger invertebrate; a tarantula. Antonio screamed and scuttled away as fast as his six legs would take him, but the spider was much swifter and nimbler. He caught up to him and grabbed him between his pincers. As Antonio shrieked in fear, the tarantula began to insert the ant into his mouth. Antonio was sure that this was the end for him, when the tarantula wailed in pain and quickly collapsed, dead.
At first, Antonio was confused. The beast had released him. Then, looking up, he realized that an army of ants had defeated the tarantula for him. It was the worker ants that had been sent out earlier that day. Despite his shock, he smiled. He knew most of these ants, but he was really only looking at one. His dad.
Antonio's father smiled back to him. Then he said, "Good going, son. You had me worried there. What are you doing here?"
Antonio looked down, suddenly embarrassed. "I was with my class, but... I don't know what happened. I just... left."
"It's okay, champ. Come on, now. Let's go find them, shall we?" And with that, the Worker Ant General stepped down from the fallen tarantula and left his niche to his apprentice for the day.
Antonio smiled. This was an event with enough emotions to last him a lifetime.

Beth

11/4/2021 04:26:30 pm

Oops! I accidentally wrote my brother's name instead of mine; I meant to write "Beth."

Beth

11/4/2021 04:29:51 pm

I did not include at least 8 words in my word study, therefore I did not meet the criteria.

Beth

11/4/2021 04:56:51 pm

One regular morning, young Antonio the ant woke up with a grin. It was the last day of school. After this, he and his friends would be free for the summer! He got ready, had some breakfast, and went to go pick up his friends to go to school. Soon enough, Antonio and his three buddies were standing before the Amazon Forest Elementary for Ants.
Because it was Antonio's last day of school, his teacher decided to take the class out to explore their habitat.
Along the way, Mr. Ant taught taught his students about all of the indigenous plants that they came across. Bored, Antonio strayed from the group, left to ponder how the his population could be so interested in every sort of biotic organism that they saw, let alone simple, abiotic objects. He didn't notice how far he had gone until he came face to face with a much larger invertebrate than himself; a tarantula. Antonio screamed and scuttled away as fast as his six legs would take him, but the spider was much swifter and nimbler. He caught up to him and snatched him between his pincers. As Antonio shrieked in fear, the tarantula began to insert the ant into his mouth. Antonio was sure that this was the end for him, when the tarantula wailed in pain and quickly collapsed, dead.
At first, Antonio was confused. Why had the beast released him? Then, looking up, he realized that an army of ants had defeated the tarantula for him. It was the worker ants that had been sent out earlier that day. Despite his shock, he smiled. He knew most of these ants, but he was really only looking at one. His dad.
Antonio's father smiled back at Antonio. Then he said, "You had me worried there, son. What are you doing here?"
Antonio looked down, suddenly embarrassed. "I was with my class, but... I don't know what happened. I just... left."
"It's okay, champ. Come on, now. Let's go find your class now, shall we?" And with that, the Worker Ant General stepped down from the fallen tarantula. "Soldier," he nodded to one of the workers. "You're in charge of my niche for the rest of the day."
The worker saluted him as the General scuttled away with his son.
Antonio smiled. This was an event with enough emotions to last him a lifetime.

Rhea

11/4/2021 07:38:37 pm

@Beth This is such a good story! It is so entertaining and captivating!!

FEEDBACK: Check the GIVENS. For example, "Bored, Antonio strayed from the group, left to ponder how *the* his population could be so interested in every sort of biotic organism that they saw, let alone simple, abiotic objects."

Beth

11/5/2021 03:32:51 pm

Sure!

One regular morning, young Antonio the ant woke up with a grin. It was the last day of school. After this, he and his friends would be free for the summer! He got ready, had some breakfast, and went to go pick up his friends to go to school. Soon enough, Antonio and his three buddies were standing before the Amazon Forest Elementary for Ants.
Because it was Antonio's last day of school, his teacher decided to take the class out to explore their habitat.
Along the way, Mr. Ant taught his students about all of the indigenous plants that they came across. Bored, Antonio strayed from the group, left to ponder how the rest of his population could be so interested in every sort of biotic organism that they saw, let alone simple, abiotic objects. He didn't notice how far he had gone until he came face to face with a much larger invertebrate than himself; a tarantula. Antonio screamed and scuttled away as fast as his six legs would take him, but the spider was much swifter and nimbler. He caught up to him and snatched him between his pincers. As Antonio shrieked in fear, the tarantula began to insert the ant into his mouth. Antonio was sure that this was the end for him, when the tarantula wailed in pain and quickly collapsed, dead.
At first, Antonio was confused. Why had the beast released him? Then, looking up, he realized that an army of ants had defeated the tarantula for him. It was the worker ants that had been sent out earlier that day. Despite his shock, he smiled. He knew most of these ants, but he was really only looking at one. His dad.
Antonio's father smiled back at Antonio. Then he said, "You had me worried there, son. What are you doing here?"
Antonio looked down, suddenly embarrassed. "I was with my class, but... I don't know what happened. I just... left."
"It's okay, champ. Come on, now. Let's go find your class now, shall we?" And with that, the Worker Ant General stepped down from the fallen tarantula. "Soldier," he nodded to one of the workers. "You're in charge of my niche for the rest of the day."
The worker saluted him as the General scuttled away with his son.
Antonio smiled. This was an event with enough emotions to last him a lifetime.

Winna

11/4/2021 05:25:48 pm

Once upon a time, there was a squirrel named Brownie. On the last day at school, Brownie’s class got to go on a field trip! Brownie and her class went on to a bus and off they went to visit the tropical forest!
Once they arrived, the class were really excited. They first learnt about how the ecosystem works, that biotic means living and abiotic means non-living and about the habitat in the forest.Then, they went for lunch. They held a picnic under a tree and talked about how producers produce things.
After lunch, the class were full and went for a walk and found a organism apart from others. They also found some détritivores eating, which Brownie thought ‘its just like when my brother eats disgusting food’, making a connection. Brownie overheard some other animals looking for good niches and she thinks that she’s lucky to have such a good niche for her family and herself.
It’s time to go home, Brownie was very excited to tell her family what a wonderful day she had! Brownie ran on the detritus to the bus. When she went back home, she told her whole family what an amazing day she had with her class in the tropical forest!!!
I met the criteria and the requirements.

Winna

11/4/2021 05:27:33 pm

@winna
FEEDBACK: I should do paragraphs instead of a whole big thing.

Winna(REVISED)

11/4/2021 05:28:56 pm

Winna

11/4/2021 05:29:40 pm

Oh I don’t know why it doesn’t work. I will do something else

Winna

11/4/2021 05:30:30 pm

Once upon a time, there was a squirrel named Brownie. On the last day at school, Brownie’s class got to go on a field trip! Brownie and her class went on to a bus and off they went to visit the tropical forest!

Once they arrived, the class were really excited. They first learnt about how the ecosystem works, that biotic means living and abiotic means non-living and about the habitat in the forest.Then, they went for lunch. They held a picnic under a tree and talked about how producers produce things.

After lunch, the class were full and went for a walk and found a organism apart from others. They also found some détritivores eating, which Brownie thought ‘its just like when my brother eats disgusting food’, making a connection. Brownie overheard some other animals looking for good niches and she thinks that she’s lucky to have such a good niche for her family and herself.

It’s time to go home, Brownie was very excited to tell her family what a wonderful day she had! Brownie ran on the detritus to the bus. When she went back home, she told her whole family what an amazing day she had with her class in the tropical forest!!!

I met the criteria and the requirements

Melissa

11/4/2021 05:45:15 pm

As the un filled consumer went hunting down it’s prey in the near by habitat, it suddenly spots a small white organism hopping around munching on carrots. As the consumer slowly stepped closer and closer, being cautious of it’s movements, the sharp ears of the rabbit heard its footsteps and hopped away as the consumer chased after it behind the snow rabbit. The rabbit kept running, and running but the consumer hasn’t given up yet, it’s probably hasn’t eaten for days, or even weeks! Perhaps maybe it was this desperate to just feast on a meal. As time passes by, the sun starts setting, The chase goes on. As finally when the rabbit gets tired and it’s speed de creases, the snow wolf Finally gets its chance to catch the rabbit. As the wolf finishes eating and leaves the DETRITUS on the floor, it goes searching for even more foods. As a day passes on, a group of INDIGENOUS tribes passes by the wolf, as the wolf stares at them, it noticed one of the tribe members wearing a fur coat, as it recognizes it’s some kind of grey/white fur. As the wolf realizes, it’s wolf fur! It makes a run for it as the tribe doesn’t notice the BIOTIC wolf making a run for it. As the wolf keeps searching for meals for days and days, it finally gives up on looking for meat, the wolf takes a rest by a bush filled with TROPHIC berries! It starts biting each individual berry off the bush, not even noticing that it ate some leafs along with it as well! The wolf is barley full, it thought how much longer it can last for. Just as the snow wolf was giving up hope, he smells something! As it follows the scent, it leaves the wolf to a little hut, filled with a POPULATION of small rabbits! It must be his lucky day, as he made the slightest movements, the rabbits hopped away. But the wolf obviously didn’t chase it despite last time when he spent half of the day chasing just one rabbit. His energy was drained as it collapsed on the grassy floor. As a slow stinking smell, bunches of INVERTEBRATES starts gathering around it, flies, mosquitoes, slugs, and even snails. But, it was still alive! *blink blink* as the wolf slowly opens its eyes being shined by bright daylight, it’s impressed how its made it through another day! He looks around his surroundings and for a quick moment, it couldn’t recognize Anything! The area he was in was filled in a COMMUNITY with two legged people, and another animals as well. Filled with other animals as well, it wonders where it was, some kind of pet care place? there were DETRITVORES, and even species the wolf has seen before. As the wolf hears footsteps walking directly towards him, he smells meat! The two legged human places a bowl with 2 massive slices of meat, finally! After 2 long days, without a full meal I finally get to eat! It starts eating with no shame at all, dropping pieces of meat everything, drooling on the bowl. As the other wildlife’s stared at it giving it glares with disgust, the wolf finally finishes without a single speck of dust on the bowl, wow, he must’ve been hungry. As weeks, and even months pass by! The wolf is still under the care of the two legged humans.

Melissa

11/4/2021 05:45:41 pm

I have no idea if my paragraph makes any sense

Melissa

11/4/2021 05:49:15 pm

Revised

As the un filled CONSUMER goes hunting down its prey in the near by a HABITAT, it suddenly spots a small white ORGANISIM hopping around munching on carrots, and plants. As the CONSUMER slowly makes its way closer and closer, being cautious of it’s movements, the sharp ears of the rabbit hears its footsteps, and hops away. As the consumer chased after it behind the snow rabbit. The rabbit kept running, and running, but the CONSUMER hasn’t given up yet! it probably hasn’t eaten for days, or even weeks! Perhaps maybe it was this desperate to just feast on a meal. As time passes by, the sun starts setting, The chase goes on. As finally when the rabbit gets tired and it’s speed de creases, the snow wolf Finally gets its chance to catch the rabbit. As the wolf finishes eating and leaves the DETRITUS on the floor, it goes searching for even more foods. As a day passes on, a group of INDIGENOUS tribes passes by the wolf, as the wolf stares at them, it noticed one of the tribe members wearing a fur coat, as it recognizes it’s some kind of grey/white fur. As the wolf realizes, it’s wolf fur! It makes a run for it as the tribe doesn’t notice the BIOTIC wolf making a run for it. As the wolf keeps searching for meals for days and days, it finally gives up on looking for meat, the wolf takes a rest by a bush filled with TROPHIC berries! It starts biting each individual berry off the bush, not even noticing that it ate some leafs along with it as well! The wolf is barley full, it thought how much longer it can last for. Just as the snow wolf was giving up hope, he smells something! As it follows the scent, it leaves the wolf to a little hut, filled with a POPULATION of small rabbits! It must be his lucky day, as he made the slightest movements, the rabbits hopped away. But the wolf obviously didn’t chase it despite last time when he spent half of the day chasing just one rabbit. His energy was drained as it collapsed on the grassy floor. As a slow stinking smell, bunches of INVERTEBRATES starts gathering around it, flies, mosquitoes, slugs, and even snails. But, it was still alive! *blink blink* as the wolf slowly opens its eyes being shined by bright daylight, it’s impressed how its made it through another day! He looks around his surroundings and for a quick moment, it couldn’t recognize Anything! The area he was in was filled in a COMMUNITY with two legged people, and another animals as well. Filled with other animals as well, it wonders where it was, some kind of pet care place? there were DETRITVORES, and even species the wolf has seen before. As the wolf hears footsteps walking directly towards him, he smells meat! The two legged human places a bowl with 2 massive slices of meat, finally! After 2 long days, without a full meal I finally get to eat! It starts eating with no shame at all, dropping pieces of meat everything, drooling on the bowl. As the other wildlife’s stared at it giving it glares with disgust, the wolf finally finishes without a single speck of dust on the bowl, wow, he must’ve been hungry. As weeks, and even months pass by! The wolf is still under the care of the two legged humans.

Crystal

11/4/2021 09:34:06 pm

@Melissa - Wow! This is a very detailed and interesting story! I was very engaged through the whole thing.
FEEDBACK:
1) Maybe you could change the word 'unfilled' in your first sentence to something like 'hangry'.
2) Check the GIVENS. For example, your first sentence, "...its prey in the nearby habitat...organism hopping around, (comma) munching on carrots (no comma) and plants."
(Also check your sentence fluency. *3rd and 4th sentence*)
Overall, awesome story! :)

Angela

11/4/2021 09:30:38 pm

@mlissa Good job

Feedback: make sure to check for any grammar mistake.

Melissa

11/4/2021 09:38:52 pm

@angela

You spelt my name wrong, thanks though!

Ella

11/4/2021 05:59:02 pm

One day the slugs are in their organism. One of the slug is on the leaf with some decomposer and some biotic things. And that same day another slug was in the dirt while that the first slug thought it was abiotic. Then the next day the slug disappeared and found itself moving around. But the Other slugs saw what was left behind. The thing that was left behind is some white fuzzy thing. After that the slugs went to find some niche that have trophic in them. The next day the slugs wonder where the producers with invertebrates (earthworms). When everyone left they went to hiding. Then they wonder that being a slug is good.

I have met the success criteria and requirements

Vernice

11/4/2021 06:07:18 pm

@Ella- Good paragraph
Feedback- Use some transitional words.

Jayden

11/8/2021 07:23:21 pm

@Ella this sentence does not even make sense which is : One day the slugs are in their organism. That clearly does not mean anything you should change it to: One day there were organisms called are slugs.

Angela

11/4/2021 06:37:34 pm

One day there were a lot of organism of slugs in there own habitat some were on the trees, rocks, leafs, and logs. One day the population of slugs began to increase because some of the slugs dried up and became abiotic and decomposed the slugs stared to get curious. And wonder where did the slug go? The next day one of the slug went on a walk and was a slug laying down not moving and the slug though it was sleeping and until the slug saw the died slug decommissioned it self and disappeared. The other slug saw every thing and wanted to go back before it could go back it died and decommissioned it’s self.

I have seen the criteria.

Melissa

11/4/2021 06:45:36 pm

Fantastic paragraph! I’m some parts in the sentences, i wasn’t able to understand it very well like for an example, the last part of your paragraph, and make sure to know when and where to put commas and periods.

Sam

11/4/2021 06:58:57 pm

There once was an invertebrate that was crawling around in the dirt. There was also a detritivore that was that was eating animal matter. There were both a niche. There were so many detritus lying around in the dirt. The two insects were all indigenous.

Oriana

11/4/2021 07:47:44 pm

@Sam - Good paragraph.
FEEDBACK: Try to make it a story. This paragraph is just a few sentences, and it was boring and not interesting. In a story, it requires a beginning, middle, and end, as stated in the above criteria. Your "story", however, doesn't have any of those, meaning you didn't meet the criteria.
FEEDBACK 2: Check for the GIVENS. You have quite a lot of grammar mistakes. For example, "There *were so many* detritus lying around in the dirt." Replace "were so many" with "was so much". "There were both a niche." Also makes no sense, since niche means "an organisms role in an ecosystem," so it doesn't even make sense. Please check over, as there are many more.

Brendan

11/4/2021 09:55:22 pm

@Sam- You did a good job of including word study words
FEEDBACK: It didn’t really feel like I was reading story. The sentences could have also been more fluent if you added different transition words.

Ashleigh

11/5/2021 10:19:12 pm

@Sam- Good job!

FEEDBACK: it was BORING try to add details and check for the GIVENS!!!!!!!!!

Iker

11/4/2021 11:35:30 pm

Good job

Try making it look like a story and not a 2 short sentences and add a story.

Angela

11/4/2021 07:02:53 pm

Revised

One day, there were a group of organism of slugs in their own habitat. Some were on trees, rocks, leafs, and even logs. One day, the population of slugs began to decrease due to some of them drying up, and becoming abiotic. Some decomposed as well! the slugs stared to get curious. And wonder where did the slug go? The next day, one of the slugs went on a walk, and saw a slug laying down not moving. the slug who witnessed it though it was sleeping, until the slug saw that it has passed decommissioned it self and disappeared. The other slugs saw everything too, and wanted to go back before it could go back, it died and decommissioned it’s self.

Jayden

11/4/2021 07:11:01 pm

Once upon a time there was a huge POPULATION of worms and other insects living in a COMMUNITY. They were all hungry, but luckily, they found a dead deer on the ground. All ORGANISIMS rushed to eat the dead deer as all insects in the community were hungry. After fully CONSUMING the dead deer, all insects needed one more thing to eat which is a small treat. They also found some leaves lying on the ground which are also known as DETRITUS which makes these insects call themselves DETRITAVORS. The next day the insects saw a group of INDIGENOUS people hunting a deer and a wolf and all the insects were watching them hunt just like watching a sports game. When the hunters left the insects’ HABITAT the hunters left something behind which is a dead body of a wolf so then everyone rushed again but there is something different about eating a wolf, it tasted better than a deer.

Oriana

11/4/2021 07:19:03 pm

The sun glimmered, as it slowly rose, Lavender rising with it. She was excited for this big day. Lavender was just a bee, a small INVERTEBRATE insect. However, today was the day she was finally old enough to leave her HABITAT! She expected this to be the best day.
Lavender headed towards school, her wings buzzing with happiness. It was her last day of school, and her final lesson about pollinating. Though the POPULATION of bees was quite high, Lavender was one of the youngest.
Her class was boring, as always. But, she flew up as soon as the bell rang, desperate to get out and explore.
As Lavender flew and twirled around, she saw a huge animal. Or, a human. It caught sight of Lavender, and started waving its hands around, crumpling her wing in the process. She fell to the ground, thinking this would be the end. Her crumpled body lay alone, until she noticed an ORGANISM. Her fellow DETRITIVORE friend (earthworm) wriggled over.
"Lavender?" he asked. "What are you doing on the floor?"
"Hey, Earthy," she said. "Just got hit by one of those huge BIOTIC things. But, what are you doing in the bee zone?"
"Ah, I was just looking for a plant known to be INDIGENOUS to this place. I'm brewing my famous DETRITUS tea, but I decided to add a bit of spice with that plant."
They talked for a while, Earthy helping Lavender up. However, things took a turn. A large bird swooped down and snatched Earthy up.
"No!" Lavender cried, vigorously flapping her wings, in an attempt to catch up. Of course, she couldn't catch up. She landed on a rock to take a break. Lavender studied the ABIOTIC object, and all its bumps and ridges.
The sun was setting, and Lavender decided this was a good time to go back. It was such a horrible day. She flapped her wings, but it was no use. They had become squished and crumpled, and she wasn't able to fly. Lavender slept on the rock, as the moon rose high above her, shining light onto her small body.

Vernice

11/4/2021 07:24:49 pm

In the forest, there is an indigenous ecosystem. In the ecosystem, there is a population of producers, detritivores, invertebrates, consumers, decomposers, and etc. One day the organisms are having battles over fighting who should de the niche of the powerful community. After, 3 months of end less battles and lives scarifies, the wars ended. They finally came up with a niche who leads them into a whole world. The end.

I have met the criteria.

Vernice

11/4/2021 07:30:58 pm

The niche of my table group's ecosystem is our rolly polly.

I can add why the organisms have a war.

Vernice

11/4/2021 08:26:50 pm

(revised)

In the forest, there is an indigenous ecosystem. In the ecosystem, there is a population of producers, detritivores, invertebrates, consumers, decomposers, and etc. One day a slug said, " This community is a disaster. Water is dying, children are starving, and street fights all over the place. We should have a leader who can guide us and our future generation into better place". After, her speech all the organisms thought of the speech she gave and thought of who should be the niche of the community. The next day a skirmish between the slug and the rolly polly had started. Then, the allies of the two organisms are having battles over fighting whose more powerful. After, 3 months of end less battles and live scarifies, the war ended. They finally came up with a niche, rolly polly, who shall leads them into a whole new world. The end.

I have met the criteria.

Rhea

11/4/2021 07:25:12 pm

PERCY JACKSON FANFICTION:

Where am I?

I was trapped in a white, spacious room. There was nothing around me, just air and more air. I summoned my hydrokinesis powers and reached out for any fluids around me, but it was as if all my abilities were shut down. There was no water, which was a definite sign of a bad situation. Pouncing on the walls, I found no openings, no chance for an escape. I clawed the ground like a cat, hoping to let someone hear me. Suddenly, as if a PA system had been installed between the walls, a shrill and evil voice screamed, “PERCY JACKSON!”

I woke up, groggily and sleepily. What had just happened? It was until then when I realized I had, once again, fallen asleep in my science class. I mean, how could you not?

“Percy Jackson, can you please answer the question about this biotic consumer that I had just repeated three times? I have been explaining about ecosystems for twenty minutes now, and I do not believe that you have learned a single particle.” Mrs. Dodds huffed.

The truth was, I really didn’t learn anything. My mind was still spinning from the dream I had, and I muttered to nobody in particular, “Um, what was the question again?”

By this time, Mrs. Dodds’s yellow beady eyes were glaring at me menacingly. “As I asked before, what is the niche of this organism?”
In whole honesty, I had no idea what Mrs. Dodds was talking about.
Randomly guessing, I gave a weak smile and responded, “Is the niche to this, um, thing, to be a decomposer?”

The whole class erupted in laughter. It was until Mrs. Dodds had told me what was wrong about my answer that I understood how ridiculous I had sounded. Apparently, a decomposer and a consumer were two totally different things.

As Mrs. Dodds continued her explanation on the trophic characteristics of the indigenous plant, I found myself pondering on the dream that had suddenly appeared in my mind. The thing was, most of my dreams became true, like my setting a school on fire and seeing two girls turning into snakes.

Long story short, my life is a mess.

-Percy Jackson

Rhea

11/4/2021 07:26:18 pm

I think I should make my short story more descriptive and entertaining.

Rhea

11/4/2021 07:30:29 pm

PERCY JACKSON FANFICTION:

Where am I?
I was trapped in a white, spacious room. There was nothing around me, just air and more air. I summoned my hydrokinesis powers and reached out for any fluids around me, but it was as if all my abilities were shut down. There was no water, which was a definite sign of a bad situation. Pouncing on the thick brick walls, I found no openings, no chance for an escape. I clawed the ground like a cat, hoping to let someone hear me. Suddenly, as if a PA system had been installed between the walls, a shrill and evil voice screamed, “PERCY JACKSON!”

I woke up, groggily and sleepily. What had just happened? It was until then when I realized I had, once again, fallen asleep in my science class. I mean, how could you not?
“Percy Jackson, can you please answer the question about this biotic consumer that I had just repeated three times? I have been explaining about ecosystems for twenty minutes now, and I do not believe that you have learned a single particle.” Mrs. Dodds huffed.
The truth was, I really hadn’t learned anything. My mind was still spinning from the dream I had, and looking down at the swirling letters on my handout, I muttered to nobody in particular, “Um, what was the question again?”
By this time, Mrs. Dodds’s yellow beady eyes were glaring at me menacingly as if she wanted to devour me. “As I asked before, what is the niche of this organism?”
In whole honesty, I had no idea what Mrs. Dodds was talking about. Niche? Organism? Those words sounded like alien language in my ears. Randomly guessing, I gave a weak smile and responded, “Is the niche to this, um, thing, to be a decomposer?”
The whole class erupted in laughter. It was until Mrs. Dodds had told me what was wrong about my answer that I understood how ridiculous I had sounded. Apparently, a decomposer and a consumer were two totally different things.

As Mrs. Dodds continued her humdrum explanation on the trophic characteristics of the indigenous plant, I found myself pondering on the dream that had suddenly appeared in my mind. It seemed so realistic, and I could almost still feel like I was still desperately trying to find an escape from the room. The thing was, most of my dreams became true, like my setting a school on fire and seeing two girls turn into snakes.

Long story short, my life is a mess.

-Percy Jackson

Rhea

11/4/2021 07:34:25 pm

My paragraphs are not clear.

Rhea

11/4/2021 07:35:32 pm

PERCY JACKSON FANFICTION:

Where am I?
I was trapped in a white, spacious room. There was nothing around me, just air and more air. I summoned my hydrokinesis powers and reached out for any fluids around me, but it was as if all my abilities were shut down. There was no water, which was a definite sign of a bad situation. Pouncing on the thick brick walls, I found no openings, no chance for an escape. I clawed the ground like a cat, hoping to let someone hear me. Suddenly, as if a PA system had been installed between the walls, a shrill and evil voice screamed, “PERCY JACKSON!”

I woke up, groggily and sleepily. What had just happened? It was until then when I realized I had, once again, fallen asleep in my science class. I mean, how could you not?

“Percy Jackson, can you please answer the question about this biotic consumer that I had just repeated three times? I have been explaining about ecosystems for twenty minutes now, and I do not believe that you have learned a single particle.” Mrs. Dodds huffed.

The truth was, I really hadn’t learned anything. My mind was still spinning from the dream I had, and looking down at the swirling letters on my handout, I muttered to nobody in particular, “Um, what was the question again?”

By this time, Mrs. Dodds’s yellow beady eyes were glaring at me menacingly as if she wanted to devour me. “As I asked before, what is the niche of this organism?”

In whole honesty, I had no idea what Mrs. Dodds was talking about. Niche? Organism? Those words sounded like alien language in my ears. Randomly guessing, I gave a weak smile and responded, “Is the niche to this, um, thing, to be a decomposer?”

The whole class erupted in laughter. It was until Mrs. Dodds had told me what was wrong about my answer that I understood how ridiculous I had sounded. Apparently, a decomposer and a consumer were two totally different things.

As Mrs. Dodds continued her humdrum explanation on the trophic characteristics of the indigenous plant, I found myself pondering on the dream that had suddenly appeared in my mind. It seemed so realistic, and I could almost still feel like I was still desperately trying to find an escape from the room. The thing was, most of my dreams became true, like my setting a school on fire and seeing two girls turn into snakes.

Long story short, my life is a mess.

-Percy Jackson

Rachel

11/5/2021 02:35:49 am

@Rhea - Your paragraph was so good once again! This one was SO descriptive it made it so easy for me to visualize the setting and the mood of your story! (By the way, I'm giving feedback for your revised version.)

Feedback - A finishing touch to make your paragraph pretty much perfect is to remove the word, 'had', from the clause 'what had just happened?' This fix will make it seem a little less wordy, and that's literally the only flaw I could find with your paragraph. Also, I don't know if its a typo or something else, but when I read the 'my', in the sentence 'like my setting a school on fire...' it didn't really make sense, but then again, it might've just been a typo.

Rhea (Revised)

11/5/2021 05:40:58 pm

OK, thanks!

Where am I?
I was trapped in a white, spacious room. There was nothing around me, just air and more air. I summoned my hydrokinesis powers and reached out for any fluids around me, but it was as if all my abilities were shut down. There was no water, which was a definite sign of a bad situation. Pouncing on the thick brick walls, I found no openings, no chance for an escape. I clawed the ground like a cat, hoping to let someone hear me. Suddenly, as if a PA system had been installed between the walls, a shrill and evil voice screamed, “PERCY JACKSON!”

I woke up, groggily and sleepily. What just happened? It was until then when I realized I had, once again, fallen asleep in my science class. I mean, how could you not?

“Percy Jackson, can you please answer the question about this biotic consumer that I had just repeated three times? I have been explaining about ecosystems for twenty minutes now, and I do not believe that you have learned a single particle.” Mrs. Dodds huffed.

The truth was, I really hadn’t learned anything. My mind was still spinning from the dream I had, and looking down at the swirling letters on my handout, I muttered to nobody in particular, “Um, what was the question again?”

By this time, Mrs. Dodds’s yellow beady eyes were glaring at me menacingly as if she wanted to devour me. “As I asked before, what is the niche of this organism?”

In whole honesty, I had no idea what Mrs. Dodds was talking about. Niche? Organism? Those words sounded like alien language in my ears. Randomly guessing, I gave a weak smile and responded, “Is the niche to this, um, thing, to be a decomposer?”

The whole class erupted in laughter. It was until Mrs. Dodds had told me what was wrong about my answer that I understood how ridiculous I had sounded. Apparently, a decomposer and a consumer were two totally different things.

As Mrs. Dodds continued her humdrum explanation on the trophic characteristics of the indigenous plant, I found myself pondering on the dream that had suddenly appeared in my mind. It seemed so realistic, and I could almost still feel like I was still desperately trying to find an escape from the room. The thing was, most of my dreams became true, like me setting a school on fire and seeing two girls turn into snakes.

Long story short, my life is a mess.

Yshrael

11/4/2021 07:28:20 pm

Let's go to the year 2045, at this point of time, there's more than 9 billion humhans inhabiting earth, overpopulating the world. The world's ecosystems, habitats, and environment depleted from human destruction to create more factories and shelter. Sure, at this point, there's probably self-driving cars, robots, and a big advance in technology, but don't forget the fact that about 6 million die every year from air pollution and gases. And the earth's grass and trees have been heavily reduced and destroyed badly. Not to mention consumers like deers, pandas, or sea turtles are likely to be extinct due to a lack of producers like grass, weeds, or trees that have nutrients. Without these plants, lots of animals might go extinct. For example, lots of bugs eat plants, like a grasshopper. First of all, let's destroy the species. Then animals like reptiles, rats, rabbits, slugs or spiders that mainly eat grasshoppers, will eventually die due to the lack of grasshoppers. Then animals that eat them will eventually die, and so on. And detritus of animals and plant remains will be spread with detritivores feasting on the remains. This is why sometimes the tiniest living organism can have the most important niche and job in the environment. By 2045, communities of living things with roles might disappear by pollution and recent forest fires. So in conclusion, I think I've made you realize and open your minds for the future and the terrifying things in 2045. And I hope that you yourself will have a better view of pollution and the environment to make the world a better place. And make sure to NOT put forieg substances in the toilet. Just please don't.

Yshrael

11/4/2021 07:29:29 pm

Self assessment: I've done spelling mistakes and possible grammar.

Yshrael

11/4/2021 07:32:43 pm

Let's go to the year 2045, at this point of time, there's more than 9 billion humans inhabiting earth, overpopulating the world. The world's ecosystems, habitats, and environment depleted from human destruction to create more factories and shelter. Sure, at this point, there's probably self-driving cars, robots, and a big advance in technology, but don't forget the fact that about 6 million die every year from air pollution and gases. And the earth's grass and trees have been heavily reduced and destroyed badly. Not to mention consumers like deers, pandas, or sea turtles are likely to be extinct due to a lack of producers like grass, weeds, or trees that have nutrients. Without these plants, lots of animals might go extinct. For example, lots of bugs eat plants, like a grasshopper. First of all, let's destroy the species. Then animals like reptiles, rats, rabbits, slugs or spiders that mainly eat grasshoppers, will eventually die due to the lack of grasshoppers. Then animals that eat them will eventually die, and so on. And detritus of animals and plant remains will be spread with detritivores feasting on the remains. This is why sometimes the tiniest living organism can have the most important niche and job in the environment. By 2045, communities of living things with roles might disappear by pollution and recent forest fires. So in conclusion, I think I've made you realize and open your minds for the future and the terrifying things in 2045. And I hope that you yourself will have a better view of pollution and the environment to make the world a better place. And make sure to NOT put foriegn substances in the toilet. Just please don't.

Shawn

11/4/2021 08:04:00 pm

A typical day in a typical big city, The population of the city was 3,000,000. Not to mention all the other organisms like racoons, badgers, and small animals similar to racoons and badgers, most of the small animals are consumers, things like pigeons and crows eat producers. The producers are mostly invertebrates like worms and slugs. The community thrives both for humans and other things, I guess you could call it an ecosystem, there's like so many millions of biotic things. In this city there are no known detritivores/decomposers because they have a hard time finding detritus here so its pretty hard to do their niche. There are many indigenous plants in this city including: Fern, Maple and other plants,
Although people consider it is as their habitat it also belongs to other organisms as mush as it does to them.

Shawn

11/4/2021 08:04:46 pm

self assesment: Use better vocabulary and more detail.

Shawn

11/4/2021 08:09:55 pm

It's just a typical day in a typical big city, the sun is shining the birds are singing, the cars are driving. The population of the city is 3,000,000. Nothing to see here right? Just your average city? Not without all the other organisms like racoons, badgers, and small animals similar to racoons and badgers, most of the small animals are consumers, things like pigeons and crows eat producers. The producers are mostly invertebrates like worms and slugs. The community thrives both for humans and other things, I guess you could call it an ecosystem, there's like so many millions of biotic things. In this city there are no known detritivores/decomposers because they have a hard time finding detritus here so its pretty hard to do their niche. There are many indigenous plants in this city including: Fern, Maple and other plants,
Although people consider it is as their habitat it also belongs to other organisms as much as it does to them, So you should think about how something effects your ecosystem before doing something like littering.

I have checked the success criteria.

(REVISED VERSION)

Matthew

11/4/2021 08:27:35 pm

Once there was a tiny little invertebrate sitting in a ecosystem feeding on an organism. There was also a couple of leafs with a detritivore eating it. There were some consumers doing there niche but they left over some detritus.

Matthew

11/4/2021 08:32:20 pm

revised:

in a big farm on a beutiful sunny day there was a tiny little invertebrate sitting in a ecosystem feeding on an organism left over to die. There was also a couple of spare leafs that were being gobboled by the detritivore. There also were some consumers doing there niche but they left over some detritus so the detritivore could have some more to eat.

Crystal

11/4/2021 09:20:08 pm

As Milo the Meerkat stepped outside from his burrow, the sun shone down onto his face, blinding him from the bright light. Today is an important day. Milo was invited to celebrate his friend Jack's birthday party, and he could not be late. So, before going on his long journey, Jack pictured in his head what the party would look like. He visualized hundreds of invertebrates, insects, birds, mammals, and a mob of meerkats, just like him. Almost losing track of time, Milo finally snapped back into reality and began walking. After three minutes, Milo stopped dead in his tracks. Below him, he noticed a population of ants crawling around his feet. It was almost as if the ants were trying to tell Milo that he was in their habitat! The meerkat quickly apologized, and scurried past the furious ants. Continuing on his journey, Milo quickly stopped by a forest to collect some food to eat, as he was getting quite tired and hungry from the long walk. As Milo searched around the area, he came across a trophic fruit. He soon realized it was a citron melon, and devoured it in one second. A few minutes after, Milo stopped in front of a fountain. He was quenched and really warm after running a long way in the blazing sun. As Milo drank from the fountain, something caught his eye. Something green came floating toward him, and Milo snatched it in a blink of an eye. Turns out, it was the detritus of a grasshopper. Around ten minutes past, and Milo was still well on his way, stopping every five minutes or so to fetch some food. Suddenly, a community of birds flew by, and Milo was quite frankly frightened that one would fall on top of his small, biotic body. The birds soon rushed by, and Milo continued on his adventure. Soon enough, he came near the entrance of Jack's house, and opened the door. Milo was greeted with a chaotic sight of biotic and abiotic organisms everywhere. This party was just like how Milo envisioned it, with hundreds of insects, birds, and even a mob of meerkats. Milo looked up at the clock. He arrived just in the nick of time.

I have checked the success criteria and met the requirements.

Crystal

11/4/2021 09:24:08 pm

Self-assessment - I have a few grammar mistakes.

Crystal (Revised)

11/4/2021 09:28:09 pm

As Milo the Meerkat stepped outside from his burrow, the sun shone down onto his face, blinding him from the bright light. Today was an important day. Milo was invited to celebrate his friend Jack's birthday party, and he could not be late. So, before going on his long journey, Jack pictured in his head what the party would look like. He visualized hundreds of invertebrates, insects, birds, and a mob of meerkats, just like him. Almost losing track of time, Milo finally snapped back into reality and began walking. After three minutes, Milo stopped dead in his tracks. Below him, he noticed a population of ants crawling around his feet. It was almost as if the ants were trying to tell Milo that he was invading their habitat! The meerkat quickly apologized, and scurried past the furious ants. Continuing on his journey, Milo quickly stopped by a forest to collect some food to eat, as he was getting quite tired and hungry from the long walk. As Milo searched around the area, he came across a trophic fruit. He soon realized it was a citron melon, and devoured it in one second. A few minutes after, Milo stopped in front of a fountain. He was quenched and really warm after running a long way in the blazing sun, so the cold water was super refreshing. As Milo drank from the fountain, something caught his eye. A small, green object came floating toward him, and Milo snatched it in a blink of an eye. Turns out, it was the detritus of a grasshopper. Around ten minutes past, and Milo was still well on his way, stopping every five minutes or so to fetch some food. Suddenly, a community of birds flew by, and Milo was quite frankly frightened that one would fall on top of his small, biotic body. The birds soon rushed by, and Milo continued on his adventure. Soon enough, he came near the entrance of Jack's house, and opened the door. Milo was greeted with a chaotic sight of biotic and abiotic organisms everywhere. This party was just like how Milo envisioned it, with hundreds of insects, birds, and even a mob of meerkats. Milo hurried to join the others as he looked up at the clock. He arrived just in the nick of time.

I have checked the success criteria and met the requirements.

Jeremy

11/4/2021 09:28:16 pm

A normal day in the rain forest. A worm named Billy was doing his niche in his habitat, while doing his niche he saw a consumer eating some of the population of slugs. which frightened him so much he dug underground to find another ecosystem because he was very scared. On the way to a new habitat, he came across other invertebrates and detritivores. when Billy was finally in a new community of insects it was almost night time, but then in a flash a bird swooped in and ate Billy. The end.

I have met the criteria and all the requirements.

Jeremy

11/4/2021 09:30:20 pm

Self assessment- I forgot to put some capitals after a sentence.

Jeremy-(Revised)

11/4/2021 09:31:24 pm

A normal day in the rain forest. A worm named Billy was doing his niche in his habitat, while doing his niche he saw a consumer eating some of the population of slugs. Which frightened him so much he dug underground to find another ecosystem because he was very scared. On the way to a new habitat, he came across other invertebrates and detritivores. When Billy was finally in a new community of insects it was almost night time, but then in a flash a bird swooped in and ate Billy. The end.

I have met the criteria and all the requirements.

Kevin

11/7/2021 05:45:34 pm

@Jeremy- Great job!

FEEDBACK: Try to make your hook more engaging
In the third sentence, instead of "ecosystem", it should be habitat, I don't think a worm can survive if it can leave it's "ecosystem".

Brendan

11/4/2021 09:33:07 pm

Ian the Shiba had always been curious about the vast ecosystem around him. So when his teacher declared that their class was going on a nature scavenger hunt, he was ecstatic. On the day of the hunt, Ian was so excited he couldn’t stop wagging his tail back and forth at a rapid pace. He arrived at school way before anyone else even left their homes. Soon, the school door opened to let him into the school, along with his friends. “This was going to be an amazing day” thought Ian.

Later that day, the teacher split the students into pairs who will work together during the nature hunt. To Ian’s surprise, he actually got partnered with his best friend, even though they usually get distracted when they’re together. “This must mean teacher really wants me to have a great time today.” Ian thought eagerly.
Once all the pairs were formed, sheets were handed out (with all of things they needing to find listed on it), Ian’s class headed out of the school and began to search for the required organisms/objects in their habitat.

“The first item on the list we have to find is a consumer.” Ian told his partner. “So we should search for it first.”.
Before his friend could even reply, Ian bolted away, determined to find the organism. Stopping at a mossy rock, Ian spotted a whole population of little pill bugs living under the large rock. “I found a consumer!” shouts Ian in triumphant.
“You know we’ve only found one organism so far.” Ian’s friend exclaimed to him.
“Oh whatever.” Ian replied and wandered around to find more things.

After a few minutes of searching for biotic organisms, Ian and his partner were able to locate the following: a couple of ferns (producer), an earthworm in the soil (detritivore), a fungus growing in the grass (decomposer), and a spider hanging from its web (invertebrate). “We just have one more thing to search for.”announces Ian,”It’s a piece of detritus!”. Suddenly, a putrid smell was being emitted from Ian’s feet. “I think you stepped in a pile of it!”said Ian’s partner,”That’s what smells!”.
Embarrassed, Ian walked away to wash his feet in a puddle, coming back moments later with clean feet. “Why did that have to happen?” Ian asked, “But at least we found the last item on the list.”.

The nature hunt wrapped up shortly after and the rest of the day went by normally. Ian may have stepped on a pile of waste, but to him, it was still a fantastic day.

Brendan

11/4/2021 09:50:55 pm

Self Assessment: I have a few grammar/punctuation mistakes.

Ian the Shiba had always been curious about the vast ecosystem
around him. So when his teacher declared that their class was going on a nature scavenger hunt, he was ecstatic. On the day of the hunt, Ian was so excited he couldn’t stop wagging his tail back and forth at a rapid pace. He arrived at school way before anyone else even left their homes. Soon, the school door opened to let him into the school, along with his friends. “This was going to be an amazing day!” thought Ian.

Later that day, the teacher split the students into pairs who will work together during the nature hunt. To Ian’s surprise, he actually got partnered with his best friend, even though they usually get distracted when they’re together. “This must mean the teacher really wants me to have a great time today,” Ian thought eagerly.
Once all the pairs were formed, sheets were handed out (with all of things they needing to find listed on it), Ian’s class headed out of the school and began to search for the required organisms/objects in their habitat.

“The first item on the list we have to find is a consumer,” Ian told his partner, “So we should search for it first,”.
Before his friend could even reply, Ian bolted away, determined to find the organism. Stopping at a mossy rock, Ian spotted a whole population of little pill bugs living under the large rock. “I found a consumer!” shouts Ian in triumphant.
“You know we’ve only found one organism so far.” Ian’s friend exclaimed to him, “And you’re already celebrating,”.
“Oh whatever,” Ian replied and continued wandering around to find more things.

After a few minutes of searching for biotic organisms, Ian and his partner were able to locate the following: a couple of ferns (producer), an earthworm in the soil (detritivore), a fungus growing in the grass (decomposer), and a spider hanging from its web (invertebrate). “We just have one more thing to search for!” announces Ian,” It’s a piece of detritus!”. Suddenly, a putrid smell was being emitted from Ian’s feet. “I think you stepped in a pile of it!”said Ian’s partner, “No wonders it smells,”.
Embarrassed, Ian walked away to wash his feet in a puddle, coming back moments later with clean feet. “Why did that have to happen?” Ian asked, “But at least we found the last item on the list!”. His friend shrugs.

The nature hunt wrapped up shortly after and the rest of the day went by normally. Ian may have stepped on a pile of waste, but to him, it was still a fantastic day. (REVISED)

Trevor

11/4/2021 09:52:51 pm

Somewhere in the Amazon Rainforest, there was a huge population of organisms, which formed an ecosystem. A large falcon glide across the sky hunting for organisms. It found a community of invertebrates chewing down the last of the detritus. The falcon was full of joy thinking that it could last through the whole winter. Slowly as he memorizes the coordinates of the community of the invertebrates, it continues its journey hunt. As the falcon flew for hours all there is was empty and destroyed habitats. Meanwhile, the falcon was in luck, it found détritivores eating up the cows detritus. Lastly the falcon brought home all of his fresh biotic prey he hunted for the day and enjoy a nice relaxing winter. The End

I have met the success criteria

Dillon

11/4/2021 10:06:18 pm

In these few weeks in our science class we've done a ecosystem project which is basically students creating an ecosystem and get some organisms in it and do observations. Me and my group collected slugs and worms to our ecosystem, the organisms we collect are all invertebrates. We also got some grass in it, in fact slugs and worms are consumers and grass is producer. In our ecosystem slugs worms plants are all biotic even dead leaves because leaves were biotic, but rocks and soil are abiotic because they're not living and they wasn't living in the past neither. I think our ecosystem is kind of a mess because all the plants are dead and it looks very Brown and not refreshing, I don't think we made a good habitat for the organisms. During the observation with figured that the slugs eat a lot, at first we had a few green plants but they all got eaten by the slugs and the decorative of the plants are slowly turning brown which makes our ecosystem all brown and looks deadly. The difficult of the slugs are very disgusting I'm very scared of them and that's the only problem I was worried at the final part that we dump out our ecosystem and actually count the things we have. But after all I think this is a fun project because we can learn more about plants and organisms including how they work.

I have checked the success criteria.

Mais

11/4/2021 10:19:42 pm

@Mr.hong
Omg I just finished my story and I submitted it and refreshed and it wasn't there. I have to do it all over again and I pretty much forgot half of what I typed. This is just the worst thing ever-

Ashleigh

11/4/2021 10:51:40 pm

Long time ago, there was an INVERTERBRATES and it was a worm, the worm is called Jerry. One day, Jerry decided to build an HABITAT for Jerry to be safe, while looking for a spot to build his habitat he saw a COMMUNITY of ORGANISMS also looking for a home, Jerry felt bad so he asked all the organisms and Jerry said "come with me if you are looking for a home all of you will be safe!" But nobody answered, one of them yelled out "but you whole house will be populated!" It was an spider, His name was Lucas. Jerry replied "if all of you are safe i will be happy than ever so come along folks lets look for a home that we can all live in!" Everybody cheered the followed Jerry. Jerry talked and talked while they looked for their new house, they made a lot of ideas for their new house like, one of them was a DECOMPOSING machine. They saw a lot of BIOTIC plants the collected a lot of biotic flowers. They had found the perfect place it was a giant mushroom! They cheered, and they lived happily ever after. The End

*THE SPELLING WORDS ARE THE WORDS ON CAPS*
I have checked the success criteria.

Ashleigh

11/4/2021 10:53:26 pm

SELF ASSESMENT:
I have a some grammar errors and some spelling mistakes.

Ashleigh (Revised)

11/4/2021 10:54:24 pm

Caroline

11/4/2021 11:08:57 pm

"Aw dad, I don't wanna go on a hike!" Alex complained. He was in the car with his dad, on his way to a local trail. "I know, but it's a good way to appreciate nature." his dad replied. Alex sighed. He would much rather have been in his room playing videogames or talking to his friends on a call, or both. Not walking in nature making his feet tired. After a little while, the car stopped near the edge of a forest, and the two of them got out. “Here it is!” his dad proclaimed, excited. There was nothing much to see. He doubted anything major was living in this forest. The only thing Alex saw were trees, shrubs, and detritus everywhere, not a trail in sight. That was until he saw a small clearing between two trees. “Is this the start of the trail?” he asked. His dad nodded and walked over with him following. At first, it was kind of hard to walk on the so-called “trail” because there wasn’t really a path at all, and he kept tripping on rocks. It got easier as they walked farther into the woods. They then came across a bird’s nest where the mother bird was teaching her babies how to fly by pushing them off of the branch. Slowly but surely, the baby birds got the hang of it and started to fly. After walking some more, they reached a creek where a herring was looking for food, and later caught some and gulped it down. Near a nearby tree, a squirrel stuffed some acorns into his mouth. They walked over and on the other side of the tree, it was discovered that there was a whole stash of acorns that the squirrel protectively circled. At last they reached the same edge of the forest where they came from, as they had gone in a loop. Alex realized something: he actually kind of enjoyed their hike, breathing the fresh air, and getting a glimpse of how life was like for different animals in the forest. “Hmmm,” he thought. “Maybe the great outdoors isn’t so bad after all.”

Gen

11/4/2021 11:21:35 pm

My Mom's Garden
My mom has a garden in the backyard. She loves plants, and she is always watering the plants like twice a week. The plants that she took care of are PRODUCING some vegetables and fruits. She makes sure that her plants are healthy and fresh. Every 4 months she harvests vegetables like tomatoes, corn and some eggplants etc. My mom is a part of COMMUNITY online where all the people that love plants share what they grow and how to make plants health. They're all TROPHIC. A lot of the POPULATION is in their COMMUNITY. DETRITIVORE the corn is gone because some crows ate them. There are 15 total of the corns and half of them are gone. Sometimes my mom went to a PRODUCE store. She doesn't buy ABIOTIC vegetables but sometimes she does. In our class we were working on a project called Plant ID project for short ECOSYSTEM where we have slugs, worms etc. There is a box where we put it. We track them how long the grass aid and how much water should spray there to keep them healthy etc.
I have checked the success criteria.

Iker

11/4/2021 11:32:26 pm

It all started when a (Population) o ( Invertebrates )called worms came to Billy's farm.These worms came to billy farm and found a few things for the worms to eat.There was still some (detritus)but more (detritivore)came and ate it.When the worms were coming home they look up at a crow that is about to his (niche) to feed his family.(FACT:did you know the word indigenous means inhabiting form from beginning).They STRIKE!! Countless of body's everywhere.The worms where about to give up but then there was a scarecrow.The crows realized and realized to leave.And d they live happily ever after until they die by old age or a predator.

I have met the success criteria.

Iker

11/5/2021 08:22:55 am

Spelling errors and grammar

Iker revised

11/5/2021 08:25:38 am

It all started when a (Population)
Of ( Invertebrates )called worms came to Billy's farm.These worms came to billy farm and found a few things for the worms to eat.There was still some (detritus)but more (detritivore)came and ate it.When the worms were coming home they look up at a crow that is about to his (niche) to feed his family.(FACT:Did you know the word indigenous means inhabiting form from beginning).They STRIKE!! Countless of body's everywhere.The worms where about to give up but then there was a scarecrow.The crows realized and realized to leave.And they live happily ever after until they die by old age or a predator.

I have met the success criteria.

Rachel

11/5/2021 02:12:41 am

Chad felt more than excited, and the surprise trip was all he could think about. "Where are we going?! I'm so excited. I packed all of my bags so I'm ready to go! I'll have to say goodbye to my fellow invertebrate friend though." "Jeez calm down. You haven't even cleaned Turd-le's ecosystem yet." This is Chad's friend Zane. He seemed really cool, though, who would've thought a road trip could change the entire relationship between 2 "best friends"? "Oh gosh, you're right! I'll be right back!" Zane grinned maliciously, knowing that his "best friend's" life was on the line. "Hey, yeah... uh huh...I know, I know. We've got him.." The detritus of what Chad's turtle left behind was disgusting, which reminded him of the pen Zane gave him - It was deeply troubling, since Chad thought poop emojis were exceedingly creepy. Minutes later, the 2 of them left Chad's house, saying goodbye to their loved ones, and during the trip to a certain place, Chad took out his phone. "So, where do you think we're going?" Interrupting Chad's phone time, he replied. "Uhhhh... somewhere..?" "Come on, dude. Just take a guess!" Chad ignored him, giving Zane a feel of suspicion of him, due to the sudden mood swing. Chad looked out the window, knowing that barely anything would be biotic. The sand had a dark shade of tan-brown, and the cactuses dried out so much the needles didn't even look sharp anymore. Decomposers such as the vultures, fed on the decaying carcass of a carrion, but regardless of the vultures in which they're the only other organism, the population of the vultures was very little. Since the desert was mainly made up of abiotic components, Chad fell asleep unintentionally because of the monotonous view... "SCREeeEECH!!" The car skid along the road, you could think of the sound as if a person slid their fingernails against a chalkboard. Yeah, nasty. "What? Huh?! What are you doing?!" "Oh, sorry. We're here!" Playing dumb, he muttered, hardly loud enough for Zane to hear him. "Well, this is quite the absurd place for a trip." "You'll see why we're here." He locked the doors to the car, and pulled out his dagger. "Oh, I wonder how you'll make it out alive. There's no one here! This will be quite satisfying as well, I wanted you dead YEARS ago. I hate how you were always better than me, nerd." Coincidentally, an indigenous person walked up to us, asking for directions. "Hello, do you know where east goes? I'm lost." "Yeahhhh... no. Now get a move on, old man. I'm in the middle of something," he impatiently replied. As the skeptical man walked away, Zane lashed his dagger towards Chad unexpectedly. Luckily, his fast reflexes saved his life, despite the fact that he already knew this was going to happen. Suddenly, he reacted to a sharp pain up his arm, and a bright, crimson red colour oozed out of his arm. Distracted, Chad pushed Zane towards the road with all his might. "That's funny, what are you going to do? You can't exactly give me any injuries when you're just trying to tackle me, especially when you're a weakli -" Chad purposely tripped him, and as he fell backwards, he mocked him back. "Weakling." Zane lost consciousness, and you may be wondering, "how did he know Zane was up to something?" Well, it turns out, Chad has excellent hearing, so when he heard about this, he thought of his back-up plan, but I won't go into detail for this. Everything ended according to Chad's plan: Zane was arrested, and he went back to his normal life of taking care of Turd-le, questioning how the strange, indigenous man got to the desert in the first place, and most importantly, living his life to the fullest. But you better watch out, Chad. Zane might come back for you..

Rachel • revised

11/5/2021 02:21:51 am

Self assessment - I tend to get so carried away when writing, because I can't help writing long even if the requirements say to write a short story. I should focus more on the success criteria, and be mindful of my commas. I sometimes put some down when its unnecessary.

Chad felt more than excited, and the surprise trip was all he could think about. "Where are we going?! I'm so excited. I packed all of my bags so I'm ready to go! I'll have to say goodbye to my fellow invertebrate friend though." "Jeez calm down. You haven't even cleaned Turd-le's ecosystem yet." This is Chad's friend Zane. He seemed really cool, but who would've thought a road trip could change the entire relationship between 2 "best friends"? "Oh gosh, you're right! I'll be right back!" Zane grinned maliciously, knowing that his "best friend's" life was on the line. "Hey, yeah... uh huh...I know, I know. We've got him.." The detritus of what Chad's turtle left behind was disgusting, which reminded him of the pen Zane gave him - It was deeply troubling, since Chad thought poop emojis were exceedingly creepy. Minutes later, the 2 of them left Chad's house, saying goodbye to their loved ones, and during the trip to a certain place, Chad took out his phone. "So where do you think we're going?" Interrupting Chad's phone time, he replied. "Uhhhh... somewhere..?" "Come on, dude. Just take a guess!" Chad ignored him, giving Zane a feel of suspicion of him, due to the sudden mood swing. Chad looked out the window, knowing that barely anything would be biotic. The sand had a dark shade of tan-brown, and the cactuses dried out so much the needles didn't even look sharp anymore. Decomposers such as the vultures, fed on the decaying carcass of a carrion, but regardless of the vultures in which they're the only other organism, the population of the vultures was very little. Since the desert was mainly made up of abiotic components, Chad fell asleep unintentionally because of the monotonous view... "SCREeeEECH!!" The car skid along the road, you could think of the sound as if a person slid their fingernails against a chalkboard. Yeah, nasty. "What? Huh?! What are you doing?!" "Oh, sorry. We're here!" Playing dumb, he muttered, hardly loud enough for Zane to hear him. "Well, this is quite the absurd place for a trip." "You'll see why we're here." He locked the doors to the car, and pulled out his dagger. "Oh, I wonder how you'll make it out alive. There's no one here! This will be quite satisfying as well, I wanted you dead YEARS ago. I hate how you were always better than me nerd." Coincidentally, an indigenous person walked up to them, asking for directions. "Hello, do you know where east is? I'm lost." "Yeahhhh... no. Now get a move on, old man. I'm in the middle of something," he impatiently replied. As the skeptical man walked away, Zane lashed his dagger towards Chad unexpectedly. Luckily, his fast reflexes saved his life, despite the fact that he already knew this was going to happen. Suddenly, he reacted to a sharp pain up his arm, and a bright, crimson red colour oozed out of his arm. Distracted, Chad pushed Zane towards the road with all his might. "That's funny, what are you going to do? You can't exactly give me any injuries when you're just trying to tackle me, especially when you're a weakli -" Chad purposely tripped him, and as he fell backwards, he mocked him back. "Weakling." Zane lost consciousness, and you may be wondering, "how did he know Zane was up to something?" Well, it turns out, Chad has excellent hearing, so when he heard about this, he thought of his back-up plan, but I won't go into detail for this. Everything ended according to Chad's plan: Zane was arrested, and he went back to his normal life of taking care of Turd-le, questioning how the strange, indigenous man got to the desert in the first place, and most importantly, living his life to the fullest. But you better watch out, Chad. Zane might come back for you..

Ocean

11/5/2021 08:06:07 am

One day there was this biotic organism doing its niche and being one of the decomposers in there ecosystem with the rest of the animals in there habitat to join as a community to keep the ecosystem from dieing.

Shawn

11/7/2021 02:54:47 pm

Good job, You included 8 words.

𝕱𝖊𝖊𝖉𝖇𝖆𝖈𝕶:

Remember to use proper paragraph structure and pay attention to your grammar ("dieing") Also make your paragraph clearer, and add more detail.

Shawn

11/7/2021 02:55:33 pm

oh wow the font actually worked

Beth

11/8/2021 06:29:49 pm

@Ocean - You met the criteria, but please check the givens (dieing should be dying). Also, your story only has one sentence, so you could add an intro, a conclusion, and add some more detail.

Ashleigh

11/5/2021 04:33:09 pm

I'm so disappointed that I got a BEGINING on THE WORDS STUDY TEST😭

Ashleigh (PAR POLICE)

11/5/2021 10:21:37 pm

=+MY TABLE+=

ME: COMPLETE
BETH: FEEDBACK
SHAWN: FEEDBACK
JAYDEN: INCOMPLETE
HAYDEN: INCOMPLETE
(PLEASE COMPLETE OR YOU GET FINES!)

Crystal (PAR Police)

11/6/2021 01:44:32 pm

MY TABLE

Me: Complete
Vernice: Missing peer feedback
Jeremy: Missing peer feedback
Mais: Incomplete
Kai: Incomplete

Kevin

11/7/2021 05:48:28 pm

Hmmm... "Learning intention: I can use the words I misspelled on my pretest." Since the pretest is about science, why not just write about the science project that our class has been working on recently. So for the past month or so, we worked on a science project where we had to build an ecosystem and a habitat for invertebrates like worms and slugs. We observed them for a month, looking at the changes that had been happening in there. We were able to put slugs and worms in a plastic box, and some producers like grass and small plants. We brought it into our classroom and placed it on our desk. There were lots of detritus and waste in our ecosystem. We were able to study and learn about how the biotic and abiotic components of our ecosystem interacted with each other. These biotic and abiotic components are linked together through nutrient cycles and energy flows. All of the energy of our ecosystem came from the sun, energy comes in through photosynthesis and the decomposers and the detritivores consume this energy. the two organisms that we put into our ecosystem are worms and slugs; we didn't have any consumers, I wish we had some though. In the end, we had to dump out our ecosystem, I don't think the slugs can survive through this time of the year, so rest in peace slugs.

ASHLEIGH (PAR POLICE)

11/8/2021 09:32:38 am

=+MY TABLE+=

ME: COMPLETE
BETH: FEEDBACK
SHAWN: COMPLETE
JAYDEN: FEEDBACK, PEER ASSESSMENT
HAYDEN: INCOMPLETE
(PLEASE COMPLETE OR YOU GET FINES!)

Hayden

11/8/2021 09:46:30 am

So there is a slug the slug is not alive but dead there is a worm the worm is a consumer so it eats the slug the slug is also a consumer the worm finishes its meal and comes across a invertebrate the tarantula takes a bite of the worm but it is not quite fond of the taste it walks away disgusted by the taste of the worm but then there is a flower it is a pruducer using sun to grow and sometimes to kill

Someone

11/13/2021 05:00:11 pm

How long did it take for you to do this, this has no punctuations and it is explained in a very bad way. Also, you didn't even use the paragraph format (beginning, middle, end). Seems like you did this in 5 minutes.

no one

11/23/2021 09:24:27 pm

No, probably in 30 seconds.

someone

11/13/2021 05:02:04 pm

Also most of your info is fake information.

Par police Iker

11/8/2021 08:06:45 pm

Me:finish.
Rhea:done.
Kevin:done with the feedback but not with the par.
Mellissa:done.

Melissa

11/9/2021 07:01:14 pm

Nice

MeLissa

11/9/2021 07:01:36 pm

U spelt my name wrong, good try

Bebe

11/23/2021 09:29:08 pm

All organisms leave DETRITUSES on the ground, they get energy from food so they need a way to get them out. Sometimes DETRITIVORES eats the poop(detritus) as food. CONCUMERS might like to eat detritivores as food sourse. Some concumers might not have a back bone like INVERTEBRATES. So that is an interesting fact.

This paragraph is poorly written I know. I didn't have any other ideas of how to write it.

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